Rogue One – a Rogue Review
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Image: Lucasfilms corp

Well, frrreeeeyow! Reason they call it a Space Opera? Not telling you, if you haven’t seen it, that’d be a spoiler. Clue: what happens at the end of the opera? The fat lady sings? No, not that stereotype, Though, talking about stereotypes, The heroes of course are 92% white male. Whereas the baddies are 100% white male.

Of course! But that’s just the whinge of a PC-afflicted viewer, who is also compelled to point out how few of the chorus of aliens have an actual speaking role. Generally their job is to swarm about in crowd scenes with lots of rubber on their heads in costumes out of a medieval market. The exception – put there to cheer up whining pc peeps – being the General. Yes, the General of the whole darn anti-Empire fleet is a frog dressed in a La Scala Pinkerton costume from Madam Butterfly.

The best news I can give you is the absence of Cute Robots. Hurray! My stomach was saved from the acid attack I get every time I see the ghastly R2-D2 and the worse C-3PO, and cringe at their awful lines. I do not object to the fact that they are gay (thank goodness there is at least one gay couple in Lucasworld) it’s just they are such stereotypes! And I resent the fact they are robots and we are never likely to see them kiss.

There is a gay robot in Rogue One, but he is a much more adult, more human gay who is even allowed to hit and kill humans, contrary to the holy laws proposed by Isaac Asimov. (see below) And he turns out to be a hero. Of course, his fate is operatic.

The plot is yet another rerun of the plots we have grown to love from the previous films: brave handsome people versus a huge empire of sinister looking baddies. Darth Vader puts in a guest appearance, of course. As usual, the baddies’ aim with their sinister weapons is terrible, while our heroes’ bullets naturally wipe out acres of white clad badness. And while the Empire has the monster planet-destroying weapon as usual, the goodies have a bigger gun. Or one of them does, confirming the universal trope (or rather the American trope) that bigger guns always win. Which is why 69% of the American population thinks semi-automatic weapons are a good thing, More bangs for your buck. Which is probably also a slogan of the local brothel in Tallahassee.

The positive side: Better script, better acting. Better CGI! This film definitely grabs at the fundament, almost but not quite as well as the first film did. Well, 50%. Which is much more than the last pathetic rehash of a Star Wars film did, even though poor old Harrison Ford kicks the bucket. Hey, that’s not a spoiler any more, though again, it’s a clue…

 

Score: 4 stars.

For all the Star Trek geekery you will ever need see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars

Asimov’s 3 Laws of Robotics:(Fom Isaac Asimov’s I Robot)

  • A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
  • A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
  • A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

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