{"id":1014,"date":"2018-05-14T11:52:14","date_gmt":"2018-05-14T11:52:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jonelkon.com\/?p=1014"},"modified":"2018-05-14T11:56:04","modified_gmt":"2018-05-14T11:56:04","slug":"some-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jonelkon.com\/jnlk\/some-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Some Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"

An extract from my novel in progress, provisionally titled Ragazzo, but may end up being published as OPERA<\/em><\/p>\n

The first night was two months away which sounds like quite a long time. It is, after all, about sixty days, which is 60 x 24 hours, and you can work out how many minutes and seconds that is for yourself. I assure you Feddy knew the number. Which is 1,440 hours. Which is 86,400 minutes. Which equals 5,184,000 seconds. Each of which Feddy was determined to make count.<\/p>\n

Poor Feddy! He was, after all, cast in the role of dictator upon whom the entire state depended. And remember, he had never directed an Opera before. Certainly Capo was a help. Also, a major hindrance. To describe their relationship as prickly would be to underestimate hedgehogs. To assert that there was a clash between their temperaments would be to misunderstand the sound of cymbals in a war.<\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t start as a war. Initially, Feddy was impressed by the gravitas and showmanship of the Italian. His flamboyant clothes, the moustache which resembled a writhing, living pet which had attached itself to the upper lip of the Maestro like an hirsute leech. The incredible jodhpurs with their stains and fustian stench. Were you to ask Feddy to describe the man he would certainly add a whip to the aforegoing description, even though we know he never carried one.<\/p>\n

They say it is not good to have two women in a kitchen. The same applies to two directors of a single opera, both coveting the title of \u201cMaestro\u201d.<\/p>\n

The first days were more-or less without serious incidents. This was the phony war period when Capo would watch and listen while Feddy took each member of the cast through their lines, accompanied by Fr Muller on the piano. The official \u2013 and agreed remits of the two Directors was, Feddy: music; Capo: Stage. However as we know, Capo had quite some experience at both, and for the first few days he had to bite his tongue, purse his lips and cross his legs. Every now and then words or sentences or phrases would escape the prison of his jaw. And as those seconds flew, the number of words and sentences and phrases grew. In direct proportion, Feddy\u2019s irritation grew too.<\/p>\n

It started with Rodelinda\u2019s very first aria, L’empio rigor del fato<\/em><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Lf23OeCaUt0<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about the wickedness of fate, darling\u201d, Feddy says as his beloved Gertrude stands next to the piano, waiting for Fr Muller to play the intro. \u201cNow sing for us.\u201d<\/p>\n

So simpering Gertrude places the music on the stand, turns sweetly to the page, and begins. \u201cL\u2019empio rigor del fato\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

Watch their faces, Feddy and Capo. On Feddy\u2019s, his love for this luscious example of German womanhood, a creature Wagner would have loved to cast as Brunnhilde, this perfect parody of Pre-Raphaelite perfection simpers her way through an aria which is supposed to be a railing against cruel fate. For Feddy, the performance is lush. He is so thrilled that she manages to get through the whole thing, more-or less on the notes. This for him is a huge relief and progress indeed.<\/p>\n

As we watch Capo\u2019s face we see something rather different. Frustration, confusion, then comprehension perhaps, if the writhing of the moustache is anything to go by. He too is thinking of the wickedness of fate.<\/p>\n

\u201cBravo!\u201d Feddy claps when the thing is finished.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you! Thank you!\u201d Gertrude soaks up his adulation, looks over at Capo in his chair and sees no confirmation.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou see why I have chosen her Maestro!\u201d Feddy says.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes I suppose so Maestro.\u201d Capo replies.<\/p>\n

At this stage both our Directors are still addressing each-other as Maestro, to show mutual respect and understanding.<\/p>\n

But the word \u201csuppose\u201d hangs in the air. Feddy decides to attempt to snatch at it. \u201cGertrude will win the hearts, all of them, won\u2019t she Maestro.\u201d Partly addressed to Gertrude, to boost her confidence.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe is very \u2013 heartfelt Maestro\u201d. Capo replies.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes! What a good point Maestro.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease! Please! Any suggestions are gratefully received!\u201d Feddy gushes.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust perhaps, we can have a little more \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t like it?\u201d Gertrude asks<\/p>\n

\u201cYes yes of course I liked it. Just Remember \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? I remember the lines well!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are upset. You are complaining about Fate. Perhaps a little less \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cLess what!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLess what!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLess what Maestro? Please Gertrude \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe a little less \u2013 beautiful. More \u2013 angry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAngry?\u201d Gertrude is getting tearful. \u201cBut this is only the first time! I was singing it for the notes, not the expression!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe will of course put the acting in Maestro. I will coach her.\u201d Feddy is alarmed, feels this rehearsal slipping away from him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can act! You know I can act! Why are you being so nasty!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes yes I know \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have to take this from my husband-to be! You can stuff your bloody opera!\u201d At which she throws the part high into the air where it exercises an excellent loop-the loop and lands, open and unreachable, on a stayrope.<\/p>\n

Exeunt Gertrude, in tears.<\/p>\n

Capo shakes his head. He is slightly amused. \u201cVery melodramatic Maestro,\u201d he says. \u201cAt least it shows she has spirit.\u201d<\/p>\n

Feddy sighs. \u201cShe certainly has that, Maestro,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

Watching from the wings our Guido waits like a spider, eyes glued to the head of his prey with its shining gold, her pink cheeks streaked with tears. And when she flees, Guido follows.<\/p>\n

He catches up with her in the street,<\/p>\n

The midday streets are streaked wet. The sky is wet too, and our soon-to be united pair are being soaked through.<\/p>\n

\u201cFraulein! Freulein!\u201d He shouts and eventually, as she stumbles clickety-clack over the wet cobbles, she hears and turns.<\/p>\n

\u201cLiebe Gott! What do YOU want!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI saw that. I watched your performance! You were – divine\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDivine?\u201d She stares at this grotesque youth, who, even at the age of sixteen, towers over her. The beautiful face in his tiny head is glowing with adoration which she can see is utterly sincere. \u201cYou think so?\u201d<\/p>\n

The rain, desperate to be noticed, intensifies its attack.<\/p>\n

\u201cFraulein believe me! I have seen so many fine sopranos – all over Europe! And none so – so coloratura, so perfect in vibrato, so elegant in bel canto!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ah you charming liar. You haven\u2019t spoken even one moment of truth since you stepped into the rain. You are taking a huge gamble, dear man. For a start, does this German provincial know the first thing about bel canto, vibrato, coloratura? And she hasn\u2019t said a word to you since first you met…<\/p>\n

\u201cBel canto!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou pronounce Italian so well. I could tell from your singing! You speak Italiano?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh signor! A little – enough for opera – \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cNever enough Italiano! I speak only a little German – \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cYou speak so well!\u201d<\/p>\n

Dear liar, brought up in Germany, you speak it as well as any native! Stop putting on that accent!<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are very kind\u2026 Perhaps we can find some shelter?\u201d<\/p>\n

Having gained each-other\u2019s permission, the pair find the overhang of a medieval building to lurk under together. All around them the summer storm whooshes.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think you could teach me Italian signor?\u201d Gertrude asks breathlessly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI would be so honoured and delighted!\u201d Guido is overacting sickeningly at this point. He is speaking German with an absurdly exaggerated Italian accent. Seriously, while he is the greatest singer who ever lived (perhaps) as an actor, he\u2019s rubbish.<\/p>\n

Gertrude laughs. I hope she is not as stupid as he thinks she is. \u201cAnd in return, I will teach you German!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt would make me very happy.\u201d Guido says.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could even help you with this!\u201d she says, grasping the tent pole which is attempting an escape through the young man\u2019s trousers.<\/p>\n

\u201cReally?\u2019 Guido asks as he unbuttons his flies.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An extract from my novel in progress, provisionally titled Ragazzo, but may end up being published as OPERA The first night was two months away which sounds like quite a long time. It is, after all, about sixty days, which…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1016,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1014","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-short-stories","category-thoughts","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jonelkon.com\/jnlk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1014","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jonelkon.com\/jnlk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jonelkon.com\/jnlk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jonelkon.com\/jnlk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jonelkon.com\/jnlk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1014"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jonelkon.com\/jnlk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1014\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1015,"href":"https:\/\/jonelkon.com\/jnlk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1014\/revisions\/1015"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jonelkon.com\/jnlk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1016"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jonelkon.com\/jnlk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1014"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jonelkon.com\/jnlk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1014"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jonelkon.com\/jnlk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1014"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}