“From now on,” Mr Toad said expansively, “this great ugly pile will be called Toad Hall. After me. Like all my huge massive best wonderful incredible fantastic best in the world businesses!” With a gesture he stopped the motorcade at…
Waiting So in an airport lounge again, waiting for a flight. I had been booked Cape Town – Gatwick. I changed it to Heathrow. Irony Irony! As a (light green) member of the Green Party; as a resident of Chiswick,…
Hipster Hovels in Cape Town’s CBD These tips could change your life! Part 1: Properteee Buy that crack house on Buitenkunt Street. Hells bells babe, where have you been! This is the final opportunity to make money from property…
Mid-term Report I left South Africa – soon to be Azania I thought, after an extremely bloody revolution in which everybody died – in 1970. And now officially a Brit I am back in the loving arms of my son…
Dear Rich Foreigner Four billion years ago the Mediterranean set up a franchise on the southern tip of Africa. Probably by mistake, as there were few tourists then who were prepared to make the long journey down Gondwana, which was…
A Fairy Story “Once upon a time in a land called Zumania, there lived a family of bears. They were mummy bear, Daddy Bear and twenty two baby bears, aged between 38 and 5 years old. Most of the…
Key: When you see the letters FT, it means Factoid. Small facts and figures you may find useful at your next dinner party. Begin the conversation with “Did you know that in South Africa…” Richard called G at 6…
Help! It is not often that one gets that golden opportunity, the long- hoped for chance to be somebody’s hero. It usually starts with a cry for help. Help! She cried, and despite the danger of walking nose-first into a…
…The Angry Birds did not attack on the flight! Safe, sound, gone to ground. Cape Town grins under a gentlemanly sun while the Mountain sits above like a giant ogre’s brow, seemingly protecting this sprawl of a city. A vast…
To Zumania or Bust! Heathrow again! This time Terminal 3. My last flight 3 weeks ago was from Terminal 5 and the walk from terminal entrance to plane totalled 1.9 km. So far I have walked 1 Km in T3….