ALL Religions Lie My Friend

God watches every sparrow fall

And every bomb fly by

Then why does slow sweet cancer call

Those innocent of nearly all

To torment until they die?

All religions lie my friend, all religions lie

Was it God who made the Kalashnikov

And brought death down from the sky

And made for Hitler his ranting voice

And gave planes for Bin Laden to fly?

The shepherds gather up their flocks

And hand out rifles, bombs and rocks

One hand on their wallets, the other on their cocks

They march to do or die

And God so wise to give free will

To us to rape and steal and kill

To suicide bombers addled with lies

As fragments of bodies spatter the skies

I ask you now and once again

Who will shoulder the fucking blame?

Who will succour those left behind

By the lies of religion, the light of the blind

Oh all religions lie my friend, all religions lie.

Well God he moves in mysterious ways

He loves us all, except for gays

Their Books they say he made us all –

And in those Books you hear the call

To stone them dead with cock and ball

– well, bugger you! And leave the stage! –

If he made me in his own image

Then tell me why I so often cry

That all religions lie my friend, all religions lie.

And listen well to the wily spell

Of pastors priests and imams who

Swear by God a burning hell

That waits for me and you and you

If you try to die without their tune

Which runs a bit like this:

“Unless you sing just MY old song

“You’ll never enter bliss.”

But all religions lie my friend,

And I can tell you this:

If all but one is very wrong

I’d rather sing just my own song

And blast them with a kiss!

Oh they also tell some truths my friend

They’ll state some things your mind to bend

They’ll make you laugh

And rock or roll

And then they’ll simply steal your soul

And milk you till you die….

Don’t bother trying to tell them all

They’ve lies for every beck and call

They twist the world in every way

And fall on Faith to which they pray

Which saves from truth and keeps Logic away

And lets them live and die

Oh!
All religions lie my friend, all religions lie.

Comments

10 responses to “ALL Religions Lie My Friend”

March 29, 2017
Rob
Excellent! Most enjoyable and true, thank you!
I was, however, distinctly pleased by your noting that they also tell some truths. For me, the Sufis seem to tell the most truths particularly with their interpretation of the pillar of Islam “La Ilaha Ila Allah Hu”. Usually interpreted and translated as there is no god but Allah, the Sufis argue that the correct interpretation is that there is nothing but God. That is the greatest truth of all to me.
Hence the Kalashnikov, the bomb, the dove, Hitler and Moses and Queen Cleopatra are all God. I once wrote a little doggerel verse aimed at the New Agers who say ‘we are all one’. It was in reference to my annoyance at treading in the myriad piles of dog shit in then on Berlin pavements. I wrote that repeating the mantra: “I am the dog, I am my shoe, I am the pavement and its shit too” helped me to laugh about the glory of the universe and the realization that God also stinks to high heaven.
This does not in any way persuade me to become a Sufi. Many Sufis lie too and may milk you I am sure but thankfully that has never happened to me. I just enjoy reading Rumi and Yunus Emre and find great inspiration and joy in their writings. Whether they are true or not then becomes irrelevant.
But all humans lie and have done since they learned to communicate. I bet it started before speech developed. Don’t lie to me by saying you have never lied. Today we seem to live in a world where lying can change the course of a country or help to achieve high political office. It was always that way; today it is probably just much more apparent.
I do enjoy your verses, maybe I should try setting the above to guitar chords.
1. March 29, 2017
  Jon Elkon
  Thank you for you comments and you make important points. I need, perhaps, to unpack what I mean by that phrase “all religions lie” – it’s not, of course, entirely true (as you suggest). Because it’s the people who peddle the religions who lie, especially in their books. Their lies are usually meant to give some spurious authority to their hierarchies, some basis for their rituals and requirements for behaviour, as well as their moral codes. Ultimately the lies underpin the priesthood’s income and comfortable lives. The main lies that get my goat: Miracles. Angels. “God spoke”. Virgin birth. And the biggest of all: Heaven and Hell and if you want to “go” to the nice one, you have to do what we say. And then of course, to cap it, “Our way is the only way and all the others are plain Wrong.” What they somewhat get right is the metaphors they use to explain “God”, but they do not admit these are mere metaphors…and then the poor naive buggers who believe all this shit go out and kill each other. I am sure there are people who see through the metaphors to the reality behind them. I believe that you are one of those, the evidence is in your comments. I hope I am too. Welcome to Dudeism.
March 29, 2017
Rob
Stork: “My way is best!”
Snake:”My way is best!”
Stone: “Stone!”
1. March 29, 2017
  Jon Elkon
  Stone wins.
April 4, 2017
Jack
As do all human inventions, artifices really….lie…we fabricate our reality. Religion is no different. Politics. Economics. Social order and constructs. All devised to allow for development, which then gives voice to opposition. Which is great.
How do we replace religion with something else? Or are we all greatly evolved, rational actors? Or bound to be?
1. April 4, 2017
  Jon Elkon
  I do so agree. Replace religion? I like to think that’s a function of evolution, that religion is something we can outgrow like a prehensile tail. Unfortunately, we seem a little stuck:religion is not just holding us back, in some cases actually dragging us back to the superstitious, ignorant past. Hence my anger and impatience. The solution? Hell, I don’t know. Maybe we should replace religion with Dawkins worship. Our better still, put philosophy, rationality, humanism and science into a pot, mix them together and serve them to the multitudes.
April 5, 2017
Jack
By design, all human inventions will have the same dynamics, including religion. We find privelege, hierarchy, bias, rationalization as part of these inventions.
I understand your focus on religion, but in a few hundred years, if we evolve beyond religion, allow its replacement, won’t dawkinism, as you suggest, also present the same structures, biases, problems?
I embrace your vision,, but as a realist, i believe these issues will remain, ebb, flow…..currently, I would argue economics is the greater threat. We see all the trappings of religion, but religion is now more of a buttress than a driver. I am not convinced religion’s replacement will be a greater benefit than a cost. But then the unknown is always frought with traps.
Thank you for responding.
1. April 5, 2017
  Jon Elkon
  The idea of a Dawkinist Church tickles. Imagine prayers, rituals based on the life and works of the divine Dawkins. I’m not sure he’d mind, frankly. Ideally we don’t replace religion, we transcend it and not in a spiritual sense. But my question to you is – and it’s a question I’ve wrestled with for years – are we evolving or is our religious, social, political, ethical route merely circular?
  I agree entirely about economics and one is tempted to say, capitalism. Greed and fatcattism. People putting their own wealth and benefit in front of the environment, in front of peace and solving world hunger, to the extent that life-saving drugs are almost unaffordable; wars proliferate, always for somebody’s profit; the arms industry grows and grows; I could go on. And to ensure this madness continues, there are demagogues like Trump who manipulate the minds of millions in order to further enrich themselves and their buddies. In Britain, the minds of millions were manipulated to unpack and abandon laws and rules which, in that they protected workers’ and human rights,were limiting profit potential for the rulers of the roost.
  Thank YOU for responding – your points have allowed me to give free reign to a rant I really needed!
November 13, 2017
Jack
Jon. Thanks for the poem. You seem focused almost exclusively on the Abramamic religions…at least primarily on Christianity and Islam. The tap root of these is of course Judaism.
What are your thoughts on Hinduism, Buddhism?
1. November 14, 2017
  Jon Elkon
  Well, thanks for responding – as I said there are spits and spots and whole islands of truth within the fog and mire of organised religion.Hidden and smothered by ritual, lies and cries for more money.
  Buddhism was based on the “Enlightenment” of the Buddha – i.e. his understanding of the structure and nature of all things. How our perceptions came about, what causes suffering and how to overcome it. Great stuff. And so many MILES from the absurd rituals of the Buddhists today – with their worship of the Buddha (he said “if you understand me you will kill me”, meaning Enlightenment is an individual experience which can be assisted by contemplation and meditation, not rote learning of the Sutras or worship of a dead man.)
  The truth within Hinduism is buried inside the essences represented by their “Gods”. Again, truth hidden within a fog of lies and ritual. Of stories for children (some of them are terrific! The Bhagavad Gita and Upanishads are full of thrilling stories) (But then the Bible has some cracking stories too, as well as some great poetry)
  The concept of reincarnation, which flourishes in both, is very interesting – I wonder if it is a metaphor? For what we know today as DNA? Taken literally, with all the baggage that has evolved (sorry) around it, it is silly. Whereas a true understanding of what is meant by Karma – which is NOT if you do bad things bad things will do for you and vice versa – probably meant to be understood as Newton’s Third Law, that every action has an equal and opposite reaction – probably explains all we need to know about how we got here.
  When Buddhism is reduced to its essence, as by Zen, it is at its best. But even Zen has its rituals and silliness. As Zen masters would agree.
  We live tiny short insignificant lives. We need to find ways to be happy, to reduce the suffering of ourselves and others. So if you set Enlightenment as your goal, or winning the World Cup or having a great family or partner or living alone in a forest or doing Karate or enjoying a damn good fart in a lift,it really doesn’t matter a flying fuck to any Spiritual Thing in the Sky but it does matter to me: I want us all to be kindly dignified charming and loveable and at the very least, to Do No Harm.
  ~Should we