THE US ELECTION – AN IDIOT’S GUIDE AND COMPANION
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WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN IDIOT?
Like so many of my fellow idiots, I have been held like a rabbit in headlights by the incredible (literally) buildup to the US election. Why “idiots”? Well, most British simply shrug and say, what’s it got to do with me? There’s nothing I can do about it and it won’t affect me. And maybe they are the smart ones. They won’t be lying awake on Tuesday night glued to the BBC coverage. They won’t get ulcers. They will have a jolly Wednesday followed by lunch in the pub and a good screw in the evening. Whereas I and my fellow idiots are likely to suffer intense trauma, and if our nightmare is fulfilled, we will need in-depth treatment for PTSD by Thursday.
IN DEFENCE OF IDIOTS
Well, maybe the thought of squirrel-head’s finger on the nuclear trigger is what makes us idiots writhe in fear. Knowing that he is impulsive, prone to throwing tantrums if he doesn’t get his way, revengeful and has a head full of his own bloated importance, seems incapable of empathy and is by all the indicators described by psychologists,he is both sociopathic and narcissistic, maybe it’s not such a good idea to put weapons of mass destruction and armies in his hands. Knowing his business history – he started with a huge inherited fortune of I think 9 billion, now has a mere 3 left after having launched a slew of businesses which failed because of inadequate planning or leadership – maybe it’s not such a good idea to put a country’s huge economy in his hands. Knowing he does not believe in climate change and has pledged to renege on the US government’s commitment to reduce carbon emissions, maybe having him in the White House, backed up by Congress and Senate packed with climate-change deniers is not a bright idea. For the planet.
“Idiot”, the smart people say, “he won’t be allowed to do whatever he wants! There are checks and balances! There is a civil service to hold him back. He will be forced to conform to a semblance of sanity!”. Well, being an idiot who reads history, I am aware of how Stalin, how Hitler, how Mussolini, how Idi Amin started and of course sane people say “Idiot! Now you’re seriously overdramatising!” I say, so was Cassandra. Google her if you don’t know who she was. Most people called her an idiot.
I travel to the US on Thursday, two days after the election! SO, I propose to post a daily Idiot’s Guide to the election and it’s aftermath. I will be mainly in California and will report on the PTSD of supporters on both sides. Frankly, if squirrel-head loses, I expect riots, cries of “foul” and every tithead in America on the streets. If he wins I expect riots, cries of “immigrants out!” With concomitant attacks on anyone who looks foreign, and the likelihood that I won’t even be let into the country as, let’s face it, I do look a bit Muslim! 
So watch this space! 
Tomorrow, the vote! and like millions of other idiots I will be blogging Facebooking and tweeting. I can’t wait…

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