Category: Short Stories

  • PILLION

    Another Short Story in the Nasty Little Things collection

    On the back of a motorbike you feel everything  and you are at the mercy of everything. Wind, road, speed, gravity. And in control of nothing.

    The spitterspots of rain like mist. The late evening traffic window-wiping their way up shiny streets

    Up Euston road, weaving through cars busses trucks. He’s laughing, I can tell. It shakes his leather-clad back, swaying left and right past traffic as if as if he’s trying to dislodge me. I want to share his delight but I’m uneasy. I’m trying to sync my balance with his, leaning as he leans, holding on to the passenger-handles at my side white-knuckled, wishing I could hold him around his waist with both arms, but I know if I did that I would crush his ribs.

    Does he know

    I don’t want this. I only agreed to see “this brilliant Hampstead gym” because he’s always so adamant and enthusiastic and demanding about everything. I could have taken a tube.

    Approaching Baker Street he accelerates and we jump the lights within inches of a Dentressangle. I can just hear his howl of triumph and joy.

    We’re speeding up. He’s showing off now.

    Through Regent’s Park at way above legal speed, the Indian’s engine roaring high-pitched and hysterical, like the war-cry of a madman.

    Fear. Maybe he does know.

    I lean into him “Slow down! For God’s sake!” words whipped away by wind

    Through Camden as a blaze of swaying speed, our passing peppered by the anger of others, we must have broken every law, every speed camera gasps and surrenders, police cars shrug, report and continue on easier missions.

    He is howling with delight, man and Indian fused, a conspiracy of furious joy, if he would slow down even for a second I would bail out, leap for freedom, risk any injury

    Toward Parliament Hill

    Then up! Over the grass! Bucking, the Indian Bronco. Whooping.

    There is an oak tree. Like a sentinel near the top of the hill. He sees it, turns the bike in a slewing wild sudden move that throws me flying into this grass and heads straight at it.

    The sound was a roar and a bang like

    Then silence

    I stagger up to look

    He lies a few feet from the tree, his head hanging off his neck. Still with the motorcycle helmet on. The low hanging branch of the tree had nearly decapitated him. The Indian lies on its side, futtering.

     

    *          *          *

     

    “He knew we were having an affair,” she said. “Obsessed!”

    “I didn’t even know that,” I said. “But I suspected. I thought he was trying to kill me.”

    “I miss him.” She said.

    “Me too” I said.

    “I love you” she said.

    “And I love you” I said.

  • Some Sex

    An extract from my novel in progress, provisionally titled Ragazzo, but may end up being published as OPERA

    The first night was two months away which sounds like quite a long time. It is, after all, about sixty days, which is 60 x 24 hours, and you can work out how many minutes and seconds that is for yourself. I assure you Feddy knew the number. Which is 1,440 hours. Which is 86,400 minutes. Which equals 5,184,000 seconds. Each of which Feddy was determined to make count.

    Poor Feddy! He was, after all, cast in the role of dictator upon whom the entire state depended. And remember, he had never directed an Opera before. Certainly Capo was a help. Also, a major hindrance. To describe their relationship as prickly would be to underestimate hedgehogs. To assert that there was a clash between their temperaments would be to misunderstand the sound of cymbals in a war.

    It didn’t start as a war. Initially, Feddy was impressed by the gravitas and showmanship of the Italian. His flamboyant clothes, the moustache which resembled a writhing, living pet which had attached itself to the upper lip of the Maestro like an hirsute leech. The incredible jodhpurs with their stains and fustian stench. Were you to ask Feddy to describe the man he would certainly add a whip to the aforegoing description, even though we know he never carried one.

    They say it is not good to have two women in a kitchen. The same applies to two directors of a single opera, both coveting the title of “Maestro”.

    The first days were more-or less without serious incidents. This was the phony war period when Capo would watch and listen while Feddy took each member of the cast through their lines, accompanied by Fr Muller on the piano. The official – and agreed remits of the two Directors was, Feddy: music; Capo: Stage. However as we know, Capo had quite some experience at both, and for the first few days he had to bite his tongue, purse his lips and cross his legs. Every now and then words or sentences or phrases would escape the prison of his jaw. And as those seconds flew, the number of words and sentences and phrases grew. In direct proportion, Feddy’s irritation grew too.

    It started with Rodelinda’s very first aria, L’empio rigor del fato

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lf23OeCaUt0

    “It’s about the wickedness of fate, darling”, Feddy says as his beloved Gertrude stands next to the piano, waiting for Fr Muller to play the intro. “Now sing for us.”

    So simpering Gertrude places the music on the stand, turns sweetly to the page, and begins. “L’empio rigor del fato….”

    Watch their faces, Feddy and Capo. On Feddy’s, his love for this luscious example of German womanhood, a creature Wagner would have loved to cast as Brunnhilde, this perfect parody of Pre-Raphaelite perfection simpers her way through an aria which is supposed to be a railing against cruel fate. For Feddy, the performance is lush. He is so thrilled that she manages to get through the whole thing, more-or less on the notes. This for him is a huge relief and progress indeed.

    As we watch Capo’s face we see something rather different. Frustration, confusion, then comprehension perhaps, if the writhing of the moustache is anything to go by. He too is thinking of the wickedness of fate.

    “Bravo!” Feddy claps when the thing is finished.

    “Thank you! Thank you!” Gertrude soaks up his adulation, looks over at Capo in his chair and sees no confirmation.

    “You see why I have chosen her Maestro!” Feddy says.

    “Yes I suppose so Maestro.” Capo replies.

    At this stage both our Directors are still addressing each-other as Maestro, to show mutual respect and understanding.

    But the word “suppose” hangs in the air. Feddy decides to attempt to snatch at it. “Gertrude will win the hearts, all of them, won’t she Maestro.” Partly addressed to Gertrude, to boost her confidence.

    “She is very – heartfelt Maestro”. Capo replies.

    “Oh yes! What a good point Maestro.”

    “Only – “

    “Please! Please! Any suggestions are gratefully received!” Feddy gushes.

    “Just perhaps, we can have a little more – “

    “You didn’t like it?” Gertrude asks

    “Yes yes of course I liked it. Just Remember – “

    “What? I remember the lines well!”

    “You are upset. You are complaining about Fate. Perhaps a little less – “

    “Less what!”

    “Less what!”

    “Less what Maestro? Please Gertrude – “

    “Maybe a little less – beautiful. More – angry.”

    “Angry?” Gertrude is getting tearful. “But this is only the first time! I was singing it for the notes, not the expression!”

    “She will of course put the acting in Maestro. I will coach her.” Feddy is alarmed, feels this rehearsal slipping away from him.

    “I can act! You know I can act! Why are you being so nasty!”

    “Yes yes I know – “

    “I don’t have to take this from my husband-to be! You can stuff your bloody opera!” At which she throws the part high into the air where it exercises an excellent loop-the loop and lands, open and unreachable, on a stayrope.

    Exeunt Gertrude, in tears.

    Capo shakes his head. He is slightly amused. “Very melodramatic Maestro,” he says. “At least it shows she has spirit.”

    Feddy sighs. “She certainly has that, Maestro,” he says.

    Watching from the wings our Guido waits like a spider, eyes glued to the head of his prey with its shining gold, her pink cheeks streaked with tears. And when she flees, Guido follows.

    He catches up with her in the street,

    The midday streets are streaked wet. The sky is wet too, and our soon-to be united pair are being soaked through.

    “Fraulein! Freulein!” He shouts and eventually, as she stumbles clickety-clack over the wet cobbles, she hears and turns.

    “Liebe Gott! What do YOU want!”

    “I saw that. I watched your performance! You were – divine”

    “Divine?” She stares at this grotesque youth, who, even at the age of sixteen, towers over her. The beautiful face in his tiny head is glowing with adoration which she can see is utterly sincere. “You think so?”

    The rain, desperate to be noticed, intensifies its attack.

    “Fraulein believe me! I have seen so many fine sopranos – all over Europe! And none so – so coloratura, so perfect in vibrato, so elegant in bel canto!”

    Ah you charming liar. You haven’t spoken even one moment of truth since you stepped into the rain. You are taking a huge gamble, dear man. For a start, does this German provincial know the first thing about bel canto, vibrato, coloratura? And she hasn’t said a word to you since first you met…

    “Bel canto!”

    “You pronounce Italian so well. I could tell from your singing! You speak Italiano?”

    “Oh signor! A little – enough for opera – “

    “Never enough Italiano! I speak only a little German – “

    “You speak so well!”

    Dear liar, brought up in Germany, you speak it as well as any native! Stop putting on that accent!

    “You are very kind… Perhaps we can find some shelter?”

    Having gained each-other’s permission, the pair find the overhang of a medieval building to lurk under together. All around them the summer storm whooshes.

    “Do you think you could teach me Italian signor?” Gertrude asks breathlessly.

    “I would be so honoured and delighted!” Guido is overacting sickeningly at this point. He is speaking German with an absurdly exaggerated Italian accent. Seriously, while he is the greatest singer who ever lived (perhaps) as an actor, he’s rubbish.

    Gertrude laughs. I hope she is not as stupid as he thinks she is. “And in return, I will teach you German!”

    “It would make me very happy.” Guido says.

    “I could even help you with this!” she says, grasping the tent pole which is attempting an escape through the young man’s trousers.

    “Really?’ Guido asks as he unbuttons his flies.

  • A SHORT STORY from THE RAGAZZO – a novel in progress.

    A VICTORY FOR VITTORIO

     

    The son of an indentured farm labourer in a tiny town (or overgrown village) called Andrea del’ Morto in the district of Groparello in Toscania ,  Alberto Silvestri grew up in the knowledge that he was massively different from everyone he knew. Except perhaps his father. Certainly in looks. Daddy was the most handsome man in the village, probably the province. Perfectly muscled, 6 foot, the embodiment (despite the voluminous moustache) of tall dark and lovesome.

    Papa Vittorio Silvestri, farm labourer as he was, was also an accomplished violinist as well as the official Lothario of the district. His violin was the instrument of his passion, the tool which opened the bedroom doors of at least 40%  of the lonely, the bereft, the man-hungry, the dreamers.

    Mind you  his other tool was also famous amongst those in the know. Behind his back, those who knew called him Donkey Delight.

    As he grew older, rumours of his daddy’s dalliances began to penetrate into Alberto’s world of beasts and fields and bees. Of course, most of the rumours were wrong. Way wrong. Way, way wrong.

    Mama in the other hand was a dumpy woman in black. Stereotypically shrewish in the way Italian mamas can be, she was the type whose setting was perpetually on autopilot mama mode. Like a black-clad machine she cooked cleaned complained gossiped shouted at her husband and was addicted to very large carrots which she seldom ate.

    The match was not one made in heaven, for sure. Rather it was made in the taverna, the result of a despairing conversation between two fathers regarding the apparent lack of interest their son/daughter seemed to have in pairing up and making babies. It seemed like a good idea to put them together, even at the point of a stiletto.

    They had sex just the once. Worth a try. And abracadabra, a son. Like magic!

    Mama and Papa hardly ever talked amongst themselves when Alberto was around (he was an only child, much spoiled and fussed over) but often at night when father came in drunk, his violin serenading his  tottering arrival, he would hear her shrieking at him, he would hear her parade of insults, imprecations, always ending in tears. And the next day, nothing. Papa would be off to the fields at dawn. Mama would make the boy a quick breakfast, then usher him fussily to Signora Castri’s house, where this formidable philanthropist widow taught reading, writing and music to twelve of the farm children. The Signora was a creature of the Enlightenment – an intellectual, a lover of classical music and books. Secretly an atheist. Well, she had to attend church on Sundays but managed somehow to avoid Confession. Her presence was good enough for the gossipy villagers.

    She taught little Alberto to read and love music. He was singing at the piano with the other 11, and playing as well. He learned violin from papa who did not read music but had a fantastic ear. But above all this was where he received the virus, the bacterial infection, the obsession that is Opera. Which reached a crescendo (apologies) when, in front of a confused and bemused group of villagers in the Church Hall, her students presented Purcell’s Dido and Aeneas with Signora accompanying on the piano and Papa Silvestri on the violin, junior in the role of Dido. Well, his voice hadn’t broken yet and he was quite a pretty little boy.

    For his father this was the greatest night of his life. Not only was his son performing in front of the whole village, but seeing him in full drag! He was SO proud!

     

    I forgot to mention – Vittorio’s lovers were predominantly male. And I cannot convey the depth of the scandal this could have caused in rural Italy in the nineteenth century.

    A powder keg with a fuse.

    Vittorio’s “regulars” comprised a select list of men in the local area. Including the village priest and even the Bishop. Let’s face it, homosexuality has always been rampant in Italy. It’s one of those phenomena which is common knowledge but never spoken about. And should it ever be brought out into the open, several of the shits would be hit by fans. Not that I consider them shits, it’s just a pun I enjoy. And so many of the shits would be in clerical garb. Not that they are shits, just hypocrites.

    It was the best evening in Junior Silvestri’s life too. For once, papa was happy, Mama was happy because Papa was happy, Junior was happy because he’d just starred in an opera and because papa was happy and mama was happy.

    Everybody sing Happy We from Handel’s Acis and Galatea!             https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QX0u1Vlrbk

    Louder!

     

    It was the last happy day for the Silvestri family for ever.

    It was only a matter of time before eventually Vittorio’s carefree lifestyle would catch up with him. And her. And him too. And Giovanni, the Bishop of Inferno. And Pietro, the Parish Priest of Andrea Del Morto. I will not divulge surnames without payment.

    And the battle it turns out, was for the heart, soul and pert bottom of little Alberto Silvestri.

    Ahhhh poor little Alberto. For in the audience that evening for the first performance of Dido and Aeneas, the Bishop sat in the front row as an honoured guest. And he fell hopelessly in love with the beautiful Dido.

    As a client of Vittorio Silvestri, he took his opportunity to interrogate the man in the cosy comfort of their holy bed about the delicious fifteen-year old youth who had so prettily taken the role of the leading lady.

    “Your son, she is very pretty,” said the Bishop.

    “Ahh your Holiness, you are too kind!”

    “Nearly as pretty as you, my handsome prince.”

    “How kind you are Holiness.”

    As polite as he seemed, Vittorio felt panic and despair rising in him. What a terrible mistake to have invited this pompous queen of the priestly classes, this predator, this cynical twirler of lorgnettes, this vulpine obese cleric who possessed neither caution nor any moral consciousness, this thigh-driven thief of youth and, frankly, anything in trousers that could be persuaded, bought or stolen for what he called the privilege of his bedchamber. His catchphrase was “if you never try you never get”, and so he never stopped trying. He lived in the conviction that while every man was not homosexual, there were none who wouldn’t try it in the right circumstances. With him.

    Alas Vittorio. The last thing he wanted was for his son to have to follow his path. In a secret corner of his heart there was a golden-framed picture of his son in the future as a great Opera star or conductor or violinist, adored by all of Italy and tremendously rich. Of course attached to this picture was one of himself in the magnificent villa supplied by his adoring son, a handsome or beautiful loving sex-creature at his side. Mama did not feature in this fantasy at all.

    “Caro,” the Bishop playfully tweaked Vittorio’s nipple, “Caro, you will bring him to visit me, no?”

    “Ah Monsignor!” (The Bishop always insisted on his title, even in bed) “I would love to. But it’s impossible.”

    “For you? Nothing is impossible.” He applied his vulpine teeth to the nipple and nipped.

    “Ow! Monsignore, no I would do anything for you, you know that. But the Mama is always watching. She has eyes like a vulture. She never lets him out of her sight. Just imagine what would happen if she knew – “

    “You had better not be threatening me Carissimo.” He leaned over, bit the other nipple. “Because if you do…” he stretched himself across the vast bushy mound and valley of Vittorio’s chest and stomach and nipped a testicle. “Why, I’ll have your balls for breakfast!”

    “Ow!”

    “And your cock for sausage!”

    Look away now, because this part is a little graphic.

    Music please.

    The Bishop emerges, takes a breath. “You bring me the pretty boy, yes?”

    “Monsignore, I cannot!”

    “You are making me angry now!” He rears upward, his walrus-like flubbery body looming over his victim, quite cutting out the light from the candle. “Making me angry is a biiiiig mistake. You know that.”

    Vittorio is genuinely frightened now. He knows that between them there is a contract of mutual benefit which goes, if you screw me I screw you. Literally and figuratively. Well, being pedantic, just figuratively. There is also the contract of mutual fear – which goes, you expose me, I expose you. Literally and figuratively, for sure. The Bishop would have most to lose. In theory, anyway. But I am sure you know that what they would have regarded as sexual perversion permeated the Church then, as now. Homosexual practices were ingrained in the seminaries, and at every level up to and including the Vatican. Hypocrisy was everywhere, as it is now. Choir boys, for example, as well as boys in the Catholic schools, were considered appropriate targets for predation. And if there ever was a scandal the establishment would rapidly hush it up, perhaps with a reprimand and the promise of many Hail Marys.

     

    Then, as now.

    To be expected when you insist that men burdened with balls should be officially forbidden from enjoying their function? All kinds of results, including pedophiles regarding the church as a safe place from which to prey upon their victims. Was the Bishop a pedophile? He was certainly an omnivorous homosexual predator but I don’t know. And neither did Vittorio.

    The Bishop could feel perfectly secure, really. His hunger for young male flesh, his predations, his conquests were regarded by many in the ranks above him in the Church as merely mildly annoyingly charming.

    Whereas the poor local dick-puller could be easily disposed of if he represented a threat. He could be silenced with money. Or his tongue pulled out and dumped in a pond. Easily arranged. And the Church, as you know, is everywhere, so there is no escape.

    Vittorio knew that he had made the biggest mistake of his life. The last thing he wanted was for his only son to become the plaything of this monster. He decided to resort to pleas.

    “I beg you Monsignore…he is too young. He is so innocent!”

    “Innocente son io!” the Bishop joked. “So am I, my little farmboy. You are very pretty and you have made something very pretty. And did you know it would be just for me? Oh you tease me!” This with twirling the curly hairs on Vittorio’s chest around two fingers and pulling.

    “Ow. Monsignore, you know I would do anything for you – !”

    “This is such a small thing, Caro mio. Such a very small little pretty little Putti. A cherub, I ask of you. Dido herself, I will make your little cherub rich, happy, he will swim around me, like the little fishes of Tiberius, he will be so happy. And so shall you!”

    Here he takes Vittorio’s earlobe and pulls his mouth closer to his own toadlike orifice, which had been responsible for the ingestion of anything ingestible which came anywhere near this gargantuan monster. “I will give you whatever you want. He will move in here with me! He will have everything. The best education, food, money, whatever you want. And for you and his Mama, a hundred lira a month.”

    Vittorio pulls away in horror.

    “Five hundred.”

    Vittorio stands, ready to grab his trousers and run.

    “A thousand.”

    Vittorio hesitates.

    “Five thousand. That’s it! You get no more! Five thousand, you can buy a mansion! Never work again! My pretty Papa, what do you say?”

    Vittorio feels as if his foot has been caught in a man-trap and the gamekeeper is asking him if he wants it cut off.

    “Yes”, he mutters.

    “Louder, my lovely. I need to remember this moment!”

    “Yes.”

    “Good! Now come back to bed.”

     

    *           *           *           *           *

    A week later. A man and a boy climb out of a window of the Bishop’s Palace and jump. The boy is protesting. He doesn’t want to go. But the man, who we realize is his father, is adamant. You will. You will come with me. But I don’t want to leave Papa, what about my birds and the dog. I will get you a bird and a dog. But Papa Monsignore! He will cry. I am your Papa. He is not. He will touch you! But Papa. Alberto, shut up and jump!

    And off they go into the deep depths of Italy in their coach-and four, then in the train, then another train, and on horseback, fleeing the wrath of the Monsignore and the wrath of the Church.

    And Mama? I am sorry to report I have no idea. I have the horrible thought that perhaps Monsignor caught her, confined her in a dungeon in the basement of his ancient palace and tortured her for the whereabouts of father and son. Her body probably expelled through an oubliette into somewhere dark and very wet. A little too fanciful and romantic, perhaps. A little too operatic?

    Perhaps not. Very Scarpia and Tosca, that scene.

    But I do know these things: The Bishop accused father and son of having stolen money and jewels, and set the police after them. His fury grew with time, it did not abate. As far as the Church was concerned, they were convinced that Vittorio and Alberto Silvestri were agents of Satan who had wormed their way into the Bishop’s affections in order to steal from him and the Holy Church, to destroy Holy Relics, and to bring down all the works of Jesus. For this reason, the two became fugitives for life and it wasn’t until the death of Vittorio in mysterious circumstances and Alberto’s gaining the sinecure at Castle Schweinstein that the son felt relatively safe. Under the name, you would have guessed, of Gramaschi.

    I will have to write the whole story one day. The time between the escape from the castle and the arrival of the tutor at the Castle is rich. No space or time at the moment. I am sure you want me to get on with the story of Guido now….

     

  • Intermezzo

    Extract from a novel in progress by JON ELKON

    Alfredo Capodimonte came from a family considered amongst the aristocrats of the opera in Italy. As producers directors and managers at the Scala in Milan, at Rome and Verona they had been amongst the most famous of their day for at least three generations. Capidimontes it was who first saw the genius of Raimondi and Gigli, who launched the careers of Mascagni and going further back, Bonaventura.

    So now we must take you back thirty years, to the turn of the twentieth century. Carlo Capodimonte was one of the most successful opera directors ever, and was in constant demand to direct operas at the greatest opera house of them all, La Scala in Milan. Known to all as Da Capo, his successes were legendary; his production of Aida and Ballo in Maschera won screams of approbation from audiences and critics alike. He was feted by all, and could do no wrong.

    But then, disaster.

    Signor Giacomo Calvi was a banker in Milan whose love of the Opera was expressed in his frequent visits to La Scala and his extraordinarily generous gifts to that institution. As a major donor he was given access to all sides including backstage where one day he met Capodimonte and confessed his dark secret: Garibaldi. His Magnum Opus. A Grand Opera in four acts. The obsession of almost twenty years, which he had kept a great secret from everybody, even his piggy wife. (His original decision to concentrate on composing an opera, by the way, was a response to her constant miserable persistent nagging. Usually for sex, an activity he detested. He was safe behind the locked door of his study.) Until today! Because at last he had finished it. Which was why, filled with the thrill of creation, he sought out the greatest director of the day.

    “Yes of course Signor!” Said the Capo. “I will look at the score and give you an opinion. But I warn you: if it is rubbish I will say so!”

    Of course it was rubbish. It was ordure. It was melodramatic romantic shit of the worst sort. The plot was horrible: Garibaldi takes time off from uniting Italy to fall in love with a maid in the house of the King of Naples but she is secretly his daughter and is in love with a handsome knight who is in love with…and so on. The same tosh you get in so many Baroque operas.  At least so many of those are made divine by wonderful music! In Calvi’s case, sadly not. To make things worse, he was determined to “revolutionise” the orchestra by the replacement of the entire string section with saxophones, the only instrument he could play. When the Capo read the score, he cringed in terror at every note.

    Most unfortunately, before he was to meet Calvi to tell him what he thought, he met Dragi, the Chairman of the Board at La Scala. Brimming with deviltry and delight, he began to tell this august gentleman about this Monster. “You would not believe how bad it is!” He said. “Everything! From libretto to score to orchestration…”

    “It isn’t.”

    “Pardon?”

    “Signor, listen to me. This opera is not terrible.”

    “You have seen the score?”

    “No.”

    “Then how can you – ? “

    “Signor Calvi keeps this Opera House from total collapse.”

    “Collapse????” Capodimonte’s gaping mouth could have admitted an entire gilded sky chariot with Apollo in charge.

    His brain churned as his mind boiled. In his mind’s eye he saw the grand lifestyle of Signor Dragi – the carriages, the mistresses, the houses in Paris, Vienna and Prague. Not just Dragi – the entire Directorial Board seemed to see it as a duty, and a reflection of the success of the opera house to live lifestyles of extreme luxury and even debauchery. They also paid him very generously as if he was expected to do the same. So out of respect for his employers he wasn’t slow to take on a vast array of mistresses, and indulge in some gambling too. In his mind’s eye he saw the frequently full houses, the lines of people desperate to see the hugely elaborate productions La Scala was famous for. And in his mind’s eye he saw liras, liras flowing out of the cornucopia that was the generosity of men like Calvi.

    Largely into the pockets of men like Dragi.

    For the first time in his life he met the Real World, and quite frankly he didn’t like it.

    “……Signor Dragi, what must I do?” He asked, desperately.

    “Listen to me. You will tell Signor Calvi his score is brilliant, but of course will need some changes and fixing. You will offer to find a wonderful composer to do this. It will take a long time.”

    “Yes.”

    “A very long time. Years perhaps.”

    “I see.”

    “And then you will tell him how hard it will be to get wonderful performers of genius who are good enough to take on this work of genius,

    “Yes.”

    “And then, to mount such a production, to design such a production, to rehearse this – genius – work… do you get my point?”

    “Will take years.”

    “Exactly.”

    “Years. I will tell him.”

    “And then we will see which comes first: the production or his sad demise.”

    “Brilliant Signor!”

    “And if that doesn’t work we will have him killed. No doubt La Scala features prominently in his will.” He laughed.

    Capodimonte laughed nervously.

    “And you don’t worry dear Carlo. Whatever happens, I will take the blame. Ok?”

    And so, filled with righteous apprehension, Capodimonte went off to see Calvi.

    “Well?” said Calvi. “I hope you can see the genius in my work?”

    “Without a doubt Signore. The concept is very – high. The plot is very – original. The music is certainly different….”

    “Different?”

    ‘The saxophones. Very – interesting.”

    “Interesting?”

    “Indeed Signore. I believe –

    “It will cause a stir.”

    “Oh, it will that!” Capodimonte said, “It will that!”

    “Good. I propose you get me a cast, arrange a date with the Opera, begin rehearsals! I am very excited!”

    “Certainly Signore, we will do that. There are a few changes and edits I will need to make to the score – “

    “What! You will not touch one note!”

    Capodimonte shrugged. “It is usual for a director to make some changes, adapt to the production – “

    “You will make not ONE single change. I have worked for twenty years on this score. Every line, every nuance, every note has taken my sweat and tears. This opera will be produced and directed and seen precisely as it appears in my head, in my dreams.”

    “ – Signore – “

    “I have even decided the cast!”

    “The cast…”

    “And soon. Very soon. You will tell Dragi. I want the first production six months from now.”

    “SIX MONTHS!”

    “I don’t care what is in the schedule. The public do not need another bloody Puccini nonsense. Or stupid Verdi camels. They want history, patriotism, exciting modern music. And they want it now. Understand?”

     

    And so the legendary production of the Grand Opera Garibaldi by Giacomo Calvi came together like a modern motorway pileup. The lead roles were sung by hideously overweight aging stars, some of them retired, because Calvi had idolized them in his youth – and had “always” visualized these has-been stars in his Magnum Opus. The sets were hastily and horribly assembled. Rehearsals were continually disrupted by Signor Calvi who invariably sat in the stalls with his saxophone, always ready to adapt, correct and guide the singing or the playing by what Capodimonte came to call contemptuously The Orgastra.

    Incidentally, three mysterious attempts to assassinate Calvi took place during those six months – each one frustrated by the wall of armed men allocated to him by his bank. These men accompanied him everywhere he went. In rehearsals they would applaud every aria, almost every note of what they apparently delightedly called Garry Boldy.

    By the time the Opening Night finally happened, the Opera House was packed to the rooftiles. The press had built up a fervor – “The Great Capodimonte’s Thrilling New Discovery!” “Banker banks on Capodimonte!” “La Scala Banks on Banker and Da Capo!”

    The curtain opened, and from then on the stage of La Scala became one of the most famous Natural Disasters in history. It eclipsed the eruption of Vesuvius. It made Noah’s Flood look like a mere dribble of sputum from the lips of a child. And as you would certainly have predicted, Capodimonte’s career was destroyed for life.

    So what about the vaunted support the Chairman of the Board had so generously promised him? Alas, that venerable gentleman died of syphilis, alcohol and opium two months after the discussion with Capodimonte. And as for Calvi, well he went home, shot his piggy wife (he had wanted to do that for twenty years) and then himself.

     

    Carlo Capodimonte himself went off to found a company producing porcelain and pretty figures and eventually made some money out of it. He never set foot in an opera house again.

    Back to 1929.

    It was Carlo’s son Luigi who now sat in the first row of the stalls at the Berne Opera House, listening to the ghost of the applause that had followed all his father’s productions before the Calvi catasrophe. And watching as a magic boy made magic sounds like bells, ringing an encore for the Capodimontes.

     

    Because everybody has a backstory, I frequently pepper my narrative with how my characters got to be there, in the story, and also – more importantly, why.

    And so, my story is actually about this Magic Boy, Guido, and his rise as an opera star and perhaps, a serial killer. Luigi Capodimonte becomes his manager and his Svengali…

    A tale of joy, killing, and castration…coming soon (well, that last phrase could give rise to a stupid pun. And so could that last sentence.)

  • Death Sentence, Life Sentence.

    Once upon a time a woman with a death sentence sat on a bench in Battersea Park. She was about 32, well padded without being fat, in her favourite top and jeans. The top was Spanish Gray from which a screen print of Hello Kitty attempted to cheer the world. She didn’t look like someone with a death sentence.

    Next to her sat a somewhat fatter woman in jeans and a Nirvana T-shirt blowzily and silently protesting at the too-warm Spring sunshine. “So tell me Claudette,” she said, giving her companion her best deep searching look, “how are you really?”

    Claudette sighed with ire, as she always did, and attempted to address the question. “To be honest I just feel like I’m getting weaker and weaker every day,” she said. “I mean my right arm doesn’t work proper, doing ironing with my left is really hard.”

    “That’s nice,” Sal said, distracted, thinking wish I’d never asked. “You got MS girl, what do you expect?”

    “So” Claudette said with an irritated sigh, “and how are you?”

    As she had expected, Sal proceeded on her usual moan. She had married her long-term partner Meggan three months ago and ever since the wedding they had not stopped arguing. So every jot and titter, every plot and piffle, every clot and conflict was unwrapped, unrolled and revealed to be evidence of Megan’s always being at fault.

    “So why don’t you just up and go?” Claudette asked as usual.

    “Darling girl!” Sal said (as usual) we’re married now! You don’t just walk out on a marriage!”

    “Tell me something,” Claudette said she had decided once and for all to try to break the pattern of their habitual ritual. “Do you even like Meggan?”

    “Pardon?”

    “No really darling, do you even like her?”

    “Surely that’s a stupid even ridiculous question. It’s like – it’s like me asking you, Claudette, do you like your MS?”

    “What!” Claudette was enveloped with contrasting desires. One, she wanted to punch her friend very hard on the nose. Two, she wanted to burst out into loud sardonic laughter.  The third alternative was to get up and go.

    “Hear me out” Sal said, a hand on her friend’s forearm. “Let’s be honest,” she said, “Meggan is a Narcissist. Not metaphorically – literally. Clinically.”

    “Now just wait a minute – ”

    “Yeh – lissen. I Googled it. Self-obsessed, self-centred to the extent she never listens to anyone – ”

    “Hm!” Claudette almost hrumphed. Thinking, takes one to know one.

    “No real empathy. Lies all the time. Always has to prove she’s better than anyone else. Boasts continually. Always point scoring.”

    “Like Trump.”

    “Eggggzackky!”

    “So answer me again. Why don’t you get rid of her? Walk out?”

    “So you answer me. Why don’t you walk out on your MS?”

    “Fuck OFF Sal! Do you think I wouldn’t if I could?” She was close to tears.

    “And do YOU think I wouldn’t if I could?”

    The friends sat there silently seething at each-other for three deep minutes.

    “So what is it then,” Claudette finally ventured. “Explain why you’re with her!”

    “Yehhh don’t think I haven’t asked myself a million times,” she sighed. “You seen her. You seen how she likes to show me up in public. You seen how she always takes control when we go anywhere. You seen – ”

    “So answer the fucking question Sal!”

    “You see, she’s let me in – ”

    “I don’t want to know about your sex-life!” Claudette attempted to joke.

    “Be serious gal. See, only I know why she is as she is. I met her evil controlling parents who made her childhood a misery. Always putting her down. Challenging her. Badmouthing her.”

    “So? No one I know had an easy childhood.”

    “Did you know she’s dyslexic?”

    “That’s no big deal these days – ”

    “It was when she was growing up. See in those days people called her stupid. Like her teachers. Always going on at her. And see, she knew they were wrong. She just couldn’t see how to spell things”

    “Ok, so?”

    “So! So she had to prove to herself. And to her teachers. And to her parents. All the time. And cry every night.”

    “So that gives her the right to always put people down? The way she puts you down in public all the time? The way she put me down when we went out that time? How can you live with that?”

    “She’s not like that when we’re together alone! Believe me!”

    “I don’t believe you,” Claudette said. “I’m sorry. I just don’t like her. I understand she’s part of you. But she’s just killing you Sal, she’s killing that fun girl I went to uni with – ”

    They both stared into a clump of trees. For a while. Simultaneously they took a deep breath.

    “See????” Sal said finally. “See?????”

     

    Alone and together they wept.

     

  • A Beast…a Short Story

     

    Another story in the Nasty Little Things Collection.

    I remember my first victim so well. They say you always remember your first time and since I’ve never had proper sex, my first murder took my virginity.

    He was my PE teacher in school. I was 16, already feeling the yawning gap between me and my classmates which was to become this unbridgeable chasm between me and humans.

    He was new to the school. He was like one of those balloon animals you get at kiddie parties, all strangulated air and pomposity, ridiculous as a blown up giraffe, and with a matching inflated ego. And he thought he had a right to torment me, the weediest, least confident, most unathletic kid in school. It was pure bullying. And from the first lesson with him I knew hatred, experienced the rise of what I came to call “Nenergy”, that negative energy which has been grown, honed, perfected, manufactured out of hatred itself, my weapon, my perfect murderer, my defence and my revenge. My ally and my enemy.

    Day after day it grew until that night when I gathered up my hatred, focused it, pointed it like a missile at his heart, and let it go.

    He died that night.

    When the headmaster made the announcement at assembly I remember how it felt – that complete slap across my life like a tsunami of hot emotion, of the fear of discovery, of guilt – I knew without any trace of doubt that this death was directly attributable to me. I had felt him die that night. As I penetrated deep into his soul and body with my purest hatred I had experienced a jolt, like electricity as his heart exploded and yet I didn’t know that it would really, really, actually. Kill.

    Guilt! Fear! Two twinned concatenations I was to feel every time, but less and less as time went on.

    So I knew then I had the Power. A growing certainty as I tested it out, first on my best friend’s mother – out of kindness, actually. She had cancer.  She was in pain. I made it go away. I killed her.

    Next fell my parents.

    I had never liked them. My status as only child had given me the role, in their eyes, of mere witness to their magnificence. An obstacle, an obstruction, an ornament to be paraded before visitors as evidence of my parents’ greatness and perfection. Mother sang opera – a diva by profession and equally a diva at home. She didn’t inhabit a room, she filled it. Physically bovine, psychologically passionate and as self-obsessed as would be the only remaining earthling at the end of the world.

    Father was created specifically to serve her. He adored her passionately, unquestioningly and pathetically. A clarinettist in the Philharmonic, she regarded him as a pariah and a parasite to be treated with the disdain she would reserve for a toothpick.

    My cliché parents.

    So the Diva and the toothpick set out in his Audi for a concert in Manchester and never returned. Well, they had infuriated me. I did not want to be left with her brother Adam again….his hands all over me. His foul breath. I hated him so much, but not as much as I hated the parents every time they left me with him. I think that evening generated so much nenergy it lasted for years.

    It took me a few months to destroy Adam, months during which he fought Nanna for custody of me. So I told the Social Worker he made me do oral sex on him. He didn’t, but it worked. Frankly I will never know whether his death was a result of nenergy or just of me. He hanged himself, so I will never know.

    The money from the parents saw me through many years after Nanna died. I liked Nanna. She was the only adult who seemed to believe in me and her death was a horrible experience for me, especially since she had annoyed me that day. I think the nenergy escaped and just attacked her. That happens sometimes. I didn’t mean it to happen…

    But from that day I just didn’t care. Anybody who annoyed me would just Get It. No matter the cost to me. I was a slave of my nenergy. With each of its victims it grew stronger and I grew weaker.

    A sort of reverse Dorian Gray.

    The Beast within.

    *                                  *                                              *                                              *

    Two men in their early twenties on the platform. They radiate innocence and goodness, their faces suffused with benevolence, wanting to please each other into mutually dependent trust. Pure envy grinds its way into my day, this day which has been such a cruel and contemptuous rejection of me from the moment the tap attacked my forehead as I shaved, to the slap across my face from the bathroom cupboard door, to the disappearance of the sunglasses…to the iPhone which seemed stuck on repeat, so that the album I want to listen to is barred to me, apart from track one.

    The train arrives. And diagonally across this carriage from me the two of them, impervious in their bubble of mutual joy, continue to celebrate their bromance.

    My envy turns to hatred. Oh here it comes again! They will have to die. I have so much nenergy today, it has to go somewhere. It’s now impossible to contain, so I let it free, I let it sink into their bodies through their nerve ends, I watch as slowly their sweet smiles begin to strain as pain begins its gentle intrusion, as death starts to chew inward from their extremities into their vital organs. They will be dead within an hour.

    Too much! The nenergy rebounds and hits me now, blood almost spraying from my nose. Just like that! A gush of blood, now all over my fingers. I have no tissues. Everybody in this carriage is staring at me in horror. The person opposite just got up and legged it to the farthest seat she can find.

    The next station is Knightsbridge.

    Feeling woozy, utterly self conscious and desperate I propel myself out of the station spraying blood like a miasma, up the stairs, find the toilet in the lower ground of Harvey Nichols and blessing free access to department store loos I wash the blood away from hands, face and clothes wherever I can and sitting on the closed toilet, pinch my nose until somehow I feel in control again. Eventually recomposed I return to the station and the Piccadilly line.

    Only one seat free and the chap next to me is a space invader, his elbow annexing at least a third of my designated space. Dreadfully uncomfortable!

    He will be taken. I know I can take him out right now, but the inconvenience! Of course if I push hard I could reclaim my space without anyone noticing he’s dead. But rather too risky and my nenergy levels are almost drained. So I set his death for two hours. I always set their deaths for when I am nowhere near. It wouldn’t do for a connection to be made.

    This is quite a day. Three so far and it’s only midday! If only people realised how much sheer effort it takes to hold it, and then how when I let it out it drains me! For ten years I have paid for this my beast. If you were to see me you would never believe I am only twenty six.  I am smaller than I was at sixteen, I swear. I know I am thinner, more lined. Year by year my ageing is accelerating and I just don’t care any more. The nenergy is now so powerful I just have to find outlets for it as often as I can. Or it will eat me alive. So I have concluded if I am going to shrivel away until I die I will take you with me. Yes, you.

    I’m so tired.  Chap sits next to me on my left. His phone flies out of his hand, somersaults into the air and falls, edge to my ankle before hitting the floor. The pain is sudden and deep. Sorry! He says scrabbling for the mobile. Teeth gritted I manage “alright”.

    I consider not just the revenge but the cost. Four! On one journey! This is slaughter. It’s out of control. Every time I murder a stranger I lose something of myself. The energy drain is devastating, it takes days to recover. And already I have destroyed three today. I will pay for this. I have never allowed so many in one day. Dare I let it go? The anger burns. The hatred rises. It’s his casual response to having inflicted pain that has brought this on him.

    I am holding on to this growing nenergy burst which wants to leap out to the throat of a man who because of a moment’s carelessness has aroused its interest and its wrath and there is no way I can hold it back….

    No! No I will not allow this! You have had your fill today…

    My head is bursting and once again I can feel the blood welling up in my nose, pouring out now into the Harvey Nicholls toilet paper I am holding up to my face and my vision blurs so I stand up! Too late for Mr Butterfingers, nenergy suffuses his body I see the first traces of pain disturb his perfect bearded face as he tries to hide it from the woman sitting next to him

    The train comes to a halt and I lurch out onto High Holborn, my legs weakening by the minute. My nenergy is turning inward now, melting the cells of my body, chewing into my organs, demolishing my body soul and spirit. This is fine! There is no other way. The parasite must destroy the host if it is to ever get release, for there to be retribution.

    I lie down on the sidewalk. I will not get up again. We are going to die here, both of us.

    I am being consumed. Schoolchildren being shepherded to the British Museum are hustled away from the drunk. People walk faster as they pass.

    Two men approach. “What’s up pal, do you need some help?”

    I know these two men.

    The two men from the train carriage this morning, weaving their bromance around the body of this dying man.

  • DARKNESS…..

     

    This train-wreck civilisation

    broken,

    Its scraps

    disseminated and the dogs

    Seek their master’s  throats

    Singing I lurk under a thorn tree which makes a cave around my bruised head. The cries of pursuer and pursued punctuate the horizon like the tiny cloud-puffs of far-away artillery.

    Her head lies on my lap. I have eaten her eyes but her hair has its joy still, its honey-coloured dyed perfection composed on my jeans like the memory of a L’Oreal ad.

    I do not know how much longer I can keep breathing. Perhaps that depends on this new sound, which reminds me of laughter but is probably the last gasp of departing sanity.  Not mine, that left on October 21st when the Catastrophe happened.  If I could extract myself from these thorns I could find out what it is. But since I arrived here they have grown all around me and as I am naked I cannot move. Only She keeps me alive. She has given herself to me. And now her revenge for my having been in her: she is in me.

    There were beings once who were not hungry. Survival wasn’t a luxury then, and there was amusement, there was even laziness. There were things which were not useful, incredibly. I did things because they were pleasurable, not essential. Now everything I do is essential or at least inevitable.

    Yet I sing. This is essential. It reminds me to breathe. But that even is not imperative. Perhaps I will stop soon.

    Before the Beast came I was a man with some optimism, happiness, even insouciance. I watched his rise with bemused detachment. Even when he called on me for support I didn’t realize his madness. I have always rather liked his type. I have dealt with many – they are fragile inside, really. Only power gives them security, and their ability to persuade people that they have power gives them actual, real power. It is a desperate need to have their ego stroked which grows their ego. The more you stroke it, the bigger it gets. Like other things I vaguely remember.

    So why do I actually like them in my peculiar way? I think it’s because I feel as if beneath the bluster, I see their weakness. I feel privileged in a way, because they actually show me their weakness before they ask me for my help. And so I help. I make lies for the media for a living – or rather, I did. Because it made them happy. And they paid me plenty. When there was media. When there were Things to read.

    Shit. A thought – is this how they get power over me? Is this a strategy they use with all people who are close to them? And then, when they have used us up we get dumped under a thorn tree, naked, with only a dead wife?

    That sound is getting closer. So familiar! Like the song of a dying planet.

     

    I will sing harmony

  • The Donkeys Kick Back – buying a used car?

    I sat in stunned silence as the salesman ranted. “Donkeys!” He sputtered. “Can you believe those donkeys!” He savagely hit the disconnect button on his mobile. “Watch!” He said “They’re on their way! Watch how I deal with them!”

    “What’d they do to you?” I asked innocently. “Kidnap your wife?”

    “If only!” He joked. “No, the fucking donkeys put down a deposit on that car there! Now he tells me he’s found a cheaper one!”

    “Ok,” I said, “So?”

    “He says he’s got some fucking problem in Iran! Needs money for some sick mother or something. Bullshit! I’ll show him sick child! Anyway. Back to yours.”

    So we returned to our frankly harrowing negotiation. Buying a car has always been something of a stressful pleasure for me. Three years ago I bought a rather smart car from this chap. I am avoiding all brand names or anything that could identify the man or the company. Assume this is a work of fiction.

    At the time, I thought yes, he’s amusing. But never forget he’s a used car salesman! Which obviously puts him in the same league as an Estate Agent. In other words, listen, doubt, watch out for all the old techniques, beware, check, check check and check. Believe nothing. Check.

    Still, he made me laugh. A charming chappie, he showed me a cabinet brimming with awards by his desk. Best Salesman. Best Salesman. Year after year. Glass, silver, every variation and size of award. What a bloke. And utterly brimming with a version of sincerity which one could ardently wish was genuine. “I don’t have customers,” he would frequently recite, “my customers are my friends. I want to look after you for life!”

    Which was why when I wanted a new car, I went to him. Not a new new car, of course, just a newer car than my three-year old. After all, the tyres needed changing, the MOT had become due, and I had come into a little money. Besides, I had decided that a manual car would give more control than an automatic and I was happy to pay a little for the change.

    I had returned to him despite his brilliant  “upselling” of a vast range of extras, all of which seemed essential at the time of my last purchase. I had ended up paying far more than I had budgeted for. And the way he did that was to apparently throw in this and that and the other. And then sting me for another add-on while I was feeling good. Well, it was a learning experience, I decided. What Granny used to call “Lerngeld.” Over-expenditure you learn from.

    Another despite. About the most irritating thing about dealing with this man was the interruptions. The telephone calls both in and out, and the long harangues he would give to customers or potential customers on every variety of issue. Arrival of other clients. Right in the middle of a sentence he would jump up and rush to the opposite side of the showroom to intercept a customer or colleague for some reason. However much I fumed, I knew the game would go to me if I pretended patience.

    Anyway, despite the despites, there I sat hoping to buy the rather smart vehicle he had suggested as the perfect replacement for my previous car.  And there I was  listening to this near-hysterical tirade from the obviously superstressed salesman as he berated his almost-customers and barraged me with promises. “And furthermore,” he said, “you get a much more powerful engine! This one I’m offering has every additional extra you could wish for!” Frankly, when I had taken the car for a test drive I wasn’t impressed by the performance, and said so. “Nonsense!” he yelled with a very forced grin. “It’s just the way you use the gears!”

    Well, maybe. Having not had a manual car for some time perhaps I was underestimating the revs  needed for the gear change. Perhaps I should drive more like a Frenchman.

    I wasn’t convinced. An extra £3g for not much improvement on my previous vehicle. “I’m not convinced,” I said. “I need to go away and think about this.”

    Just then a young couple came into the showroom.

    They were obviously in considerable stress. Well-dressed, fairly middle class, in their late twenties or early thirties. They had the sort of togetherness you sometimes see in a couple which has gone through difficult times. They would have been holding hands if they had been less self-conscious.

    Seeing the salesman busy with me they stood awkwardly at the desk of one of his colleagues, waiting politely. “That’s the ones I told you about! ” the salesman said just loudly enough for them to hear. “If those donkeys think they’re getting their deposit back they can forget it!” And turned back to me. “Alright then my friend” he said blandly, “If I give you a free one year warranty, just like a new car, would you say yes?”

    “I’ll think about it, ” I said.

    He was obviously very stressed. As it was the second last day of the month I realised he had his monthly target to meet – and obviously another trophy depended on it.

    “You do that!” he said, standing impatiently to hide his irritation and headed for the Iranians as if they were long-awaited hated enemies. “You!” He said, “you think you can cheat me!!! If you think you get your deposit back you can forget it!”

    They were entirely taken aback by the attack and I knew why – this salesman obviously had only two personae – Mr slidy-glass nice and Mr cracked glass nasty. And they hadn’t even suspected the latter.

    “You don’t have the right …” the man said.

    “You can’t keep the deposit. We need that money – his mother is ill in Iran. We have to save money on the car!” his wife chipped in.

    “I can do what I fucking want!” the salesman was almost slavering. “You made a commitment. It’s the law of this country, law of contract! I made the offer, you accepted. It’s not like that in your fucking country? Is that right?”

    “We don’t want trouble,” the man said. “Just give us the money and we go away.”

    “The car is waiting for you. All cleaned and serviced, just what you want. Now give me your money and drive away!”

    The whole salesroom had frozen into a tableau of fear and disbelief. I realised that his colleagues had seen this sort of behaviour from him before, and while not surprised, they were acutely embarrassed. He was, after all, the top salesman – and as such, beyond reproach. So no-one in the audience said a word.

    “I’m going,” I said, and I have no doubt there was a tinge of disgust in my voice. “I’ll call you.”

    “No wait,” he almost pleaded. “I am going to give you a great deal. Just let me sort out the donkeys!”

    “I’ll call you,” I said. And fled.

    ********************************

    “I made a mistake,” he said, “about the engine of your car. It’s not the more powerful one, I just checked. But listen – ”

    I knew it. “I have decided – ” I said, my mobile sweating in my hand. I knew that my rejection would infuriate him.

    “Before you say anything – ” he said, “I promise you I got an offer you will not refuse! I will make it up to you! All right, a £250 cash back is the start…”

    Intrigued, I decided to play. “And what else?” I asked cynically.

    “All right, listen. One year’s free insurance…”

    “Hmmm. Go on – ”

    “That is the car you want! I’ll give you a full service, MOT, full  tank of gas…full one year warranty…now come on, you can’t say no…this car has seven thousand on the clock! Like new!”

    “Hmm” I said. That alone was very tempting.

    “Come in, just come in and you can drive away today. What do you say?”

    “I’ll think….”

    “Come in two o’clock. I’ll see you then!”

    The connection went and I knew I would buy. After all, the old car needs this and that, a good thousand and a lot  of hassle to get back into good condition. It had done around 20,000 miles. Getting this one would be like buying a brand new car.

    So I bought it after sitting there for another two hours while this infuriating man answered his phone and ran about the showroom after people. Or gave his instructions to the beautiful Polish lady at the next desk, who operated as his assistant. In the gaps between these incredibly rude interruptions, the deal was done.

    Did I get my cheque? Not that day for sure! I phoned several times. I texted him. Eventually I went in to the showroom. He kept me hanging around for ages as usual. At one point he asked me to “hang on, these Accounts donkeys have forgotten it. I’ll chase it up.”  and disappeared up the steps to the main office.

    I turned to the salesman at the next desk. “What the hell do I do now?” I asked.

    He grinned. “It’s always this way with him. Promises promises. See that?” he pointed to the cabinet bulging with Best Salesman awards. “These are the only awards I need,” and he pulled out a vast number of Thank You cards from his drawer. “From my customers,” he said proudly.

    “I wish I did the deal with you,” I said, and we laughed. “Too late! So what do I do now?”

    He winked. “Go after him!”

    “Really?”

    “Sure! He went thataway!”

    What fun, I thought and headed for the stairs. I found him on the mezzanine floor chewing on a sandwich, lounging at a staff coffee machine. He started as he saw me.

    “Where’s my cheque? I asked, smiling broadly as if at a huge joke.

    “I”m waiting for it!” He said. “They take forever! Honestly, no word of a lie, you are my main concern. The customer is always first, I guarantee. The customer is a friend…””

    “Yeh yeh” I said, “Well I’m not waiting any longer.” I finally let my chagrin show. I went right up to him and using my best Corleone voice I said “You listen to me carefully now, ‘friend’. This is no way to treat me do you understand? I will not be ignored. It’s time to put the customer first. You will sort this out for me. ”

    “Of course, I promise you, I guarantee!  I’ll look after you! I will always look after you. You will have that cheque by tomorrow.”

    Promises promises. But to my surprise, he called me the next day. “I have your cheque. Do you want to come in and get it? Or do I post it?”

    “I’ll come in,’ I said and went to the showroom that afternoon. To my surprise he handed me the cheque. “One problem,” he said, “The donkeys have forgotten to do the MOT.”

    “What!”

    “Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’ll organise it!”

    A sudden thought came to me. “By the way, you did send the slip to the DVLA for change of ownership so I can get the logbook?”

    “Of course I did!” He said.

    It was one damned promise after the other. I began to feel my indulgent benevolence for the man slipping away and being replaced by a profound impatience and resentment at being eternally taken for granted, treated without concern or respect. Treated, in short, like a donkey.

    ***********************************

    Outside the showroom I spotted a desolate figure sitting on a wall. I recognised him as the Iranian from the previous day. “Hello,” I said. “I just got the cheque the guy promised me. Do you have your money for the deposit back?”

    He  seemed grateful to have someone to speak to. “No,” he said. “I told him I spoke to the lawyer, I told him legally he has to give my deposit back. It’s a fourteen day cooling off, something like that. So he asked me to wait. Every time I get tired and leave, I phone him, he tells me come, I wait. What is wrong with this man?”

    “He’s driving me crazy too my friend. All promises.”

    “He wants to be your best friend while he thinks you will buy. Then when you don’t he just shouts at you!”

    “Scary guy. He still hasn’t given me everything he promised.”

    “Look,” said the Iranian, “if he lets you down or tries to cheat you, you contact me.” He gave me a business card. “I have the lawyer and so on. We can give him a hard time.”

    “Great”, I said, taking the card.

    *******************************************

    Another two weeks went by. The car was MOT’d, though I had to drive it to the garage myself. The dealer paid, so I give him that. But I waited and waited for the VRD, the critical Vehicle Registration Document, without which I couldn’t get my Resident’s Parking Permit. Which was stressful! Each traffic ticket costs around £80, and I couldn’t live my life in terror of getting home from work while the parking restrictions still operate. Admittedly, good old Hounslow gave me a temporary number to put on the windscreen, but the local traffic wardens are utter fascists and known to ignore all evidence apart from what they considered official.

    Again, I went through the routine of calling the salesman and getting the bum’s rush. He continually assured me the relevant document had been posted to the DVLA, yet when I telephoned the DVLA they had not received it. So in desperation, after four weeks I called him once more. I had scarcely opened the conversation when he cut the connection. This happened a second time, leaving me in no doubt that it was deliberate. I was furious. And as one does in cases like this, I boiled with the need to take revenge.

    Ok, I admit, the DVLA had said that they would provide a duplicate of the VRD for a small fee, so my parking stress would eventually be over. But that wasn’t the point. I mean, how DARE he slam the phone down on me!

    And this was the point at which I searched for the card the Iranian had given me and gave him a call. “Javed Farouz? Hello. Can we meet?”

    ******************************

    Our revenge plan was carefully hatched and constructed like a military campaign. Both Mr Farouz and I had the perfect contacts to make it a success,. His wife the nurse was popular at the vast NHS hospital where she worked. This meant she had a considerable cohort of friends, all happy to spend an afternoon enacting her revenge for the weeks of annoyance and insults to which she and her husband had been subjected.

    And I had the fabulous advantage of my friend Brian, whose students at the Drama Academy relished the opportunity to carry a character, in costume, and do some improv.

    So each day for two weeks our salesman would have to deal with two or three prospective customers sent by me or the Farouzs’.  Doctors, nurses, cleaners, professors, showgirls, entrepreneurs, the whole variety of colourful characters springing from the minds of creative drama students. The ‘customer’ would wander into the showroom, apparently in love with one of the cars on the forecourt. He or she would then spend as much time as possible with the salesman, on a test drive, in negotiation, between interruptions as they possibly could. In the meanwhile, others of our team would phone the guy with stupid questions or comments or pretending to want a car.

    The objective was to waste his time to the limit and ensure that he missed every damn target he had ever been set.

    Two weeks went by.

    Our characters were enjoying themselves hugely. Some made repeated visits.

    I sent him an anonymous  card from Moonpig. “Thanks from all your donkeys” with a picture of some of the more outrageous time-wasting characters invented by the Drama students. Inside was the message “Your customers are not donkeys. They are the food on your table.”

    And until the plastic donkey disappears from his desk, every now and then a bored drama student or nurse will wander into the car showroom and definitely not buy a used car from this man.

     

     

  • Saving Sylvie – Short story or Novel?

    What happens next? Any thoughts?

    Chapter 1

    Night of the Narcissist.

    “He adores you but frankly he’s a bit of a smug bastard” I said, looking her in her blueish eyes. I said bluish because there is a sort of greyness there. Almost an absence of eye, a space or depth like you sometimes get with the blind. But Sylvie is far from blind.

    You rightly suspect that I am in love with her and am trying to undermine her belief in every man she meets so that she will eventually realise that I am her true other half. Basically by elimination.

    Why don’t I just tell her so?

    “Well he has a right to be” She says, “He has his own company!”

    “Meaningless” I say contemptuously. “‘Management Consultancy’! That’s what people say when they’ve been made redundant from the civil service. Or social work.”

    She laughed. “Well his last job was in his da’s rubber firm!”

    “Rubber? What did they make? Condoms?”

    “Silly,” she said. Slightly annoyed. “No. Tyres. The company was bought by the Koreans. Not his fault. Besides he has a fabulous body!”

    “Ah,” I said, “of course. Gym bunny. Abs addict. Terror of the triceps”.

    Just then Chris returned from the loo. “Everyone alright?” He asked, and there was something so smug in his tone I desperately wanted lo launch my fork into his eye. “We having dessert are we?” He had no doubt whatsoever that Sylvie was perfectly safe with me and that was so insulting. Why would he think I was incapable of being his rival any way whatsoever?

    “Yes”, Sylvie said. “It’s a chocolate cake day for sure! Are ‘we’?” She had certainly inserted a single quote mark around the “we”. The gentle irony of that gave me a tiny thrill – she too had reacted to his smug comment.

    “It’s my sugar free day darling” he said. “you knew that” he pushed the menu aside like an insult.

    “I’m having profiteroles” I announced rebelliously.

    Sylvie caught my eye for a fraction of a second. A shared conspiratorial victory.

    The invisible spaces between us were rearranging.

    “Darling,” he said, leaning forward and engaging her eyes, his hand covering hers on the table, “are you sure? You remember your little resolution?”

    Involuntarily she snatched her hand from under his. “Oh my ‘little’ sugar resolution? No, I don’t remember that at all.” This time our exchange of glances was almost overt.

    “Damn!” He said. His pocket was chirping. Birdsong. “Sorry darling. Must get this.” Phone leapt into his hand, to his ear. “Yes I know, no, fine” he said to the mobile. Then, covering, “sorry darling. Client.” And strode toward the balcony, muttering into the instrument.

    “It’s his fucking ex- girlfriend”, Sylvie said, “she wont let him go”

    “He said client.”

    “Yes I know”, she said and sank into quiet glumness, disturbed only by the ordering of the deserts.

    The desserts arrived and still he hadn’t.

    “Let’s kill him”, she said.

    “Don’t be silly!” I laughed as I stabbed a profiterole with a savage fork.

    “That could be one of his balls” she mused.

    “And that ” I said as she sliced into the chocolate cake with knife and fork, “could be his ass!”

    We laughed.

    “He says he loves me,” she said. “I think he might.”

    “Oh wake up Sylvie. He’s a narcissist, He’s controlling you! He wants you to dance to his tune. Once you do, he’ll dump you!”

    Instantly I realised I had gone too far. The shadow that crossed her face said this: you do not trust my judgment. You underestimate me.

    “Sorry”, I said. “But it’s the truth!”

    Chris emerged from the balcony. “Ready darling? Got the bill? Don’t worry we’ll pick it up on the way out. Bye James, good to meet you.” A peremptory handshake and with every indication of petulance from both, they were gone. Leaving me staring at my last profiterole.

    “He dumped me!”. It was two months after that meeting at Les Escargots. I hadn’t seen her or heard from her, apart from the odd You Ok exchange of texts, since that evening. In the old days we were trapped to each-other on WhatsApp for hours in the evenings. She had shared almost everything with me, for some reason seemed to trust me since we had met as colleagues at KBH. But since that meeting with the Chris, nothing. Which was fine. We no longer worked together and to be frank I rather needed to get over my hurt. And let’s face it, jealousy.

    I have always been better at being a friend than a lover. I’ve always preferred food to sex, what the hell.

    Perhaps that’s why I am a virgin at twenty eight.

    She says I am probably gay. Well, if I am, I’d happily make an exception for her…

    It was 7pm when I had the call on my mobile. Her voice had slivers of anger and a cushion of shock.

    “Really,” I said, attempting to inject just a little surprise into my voice. My temptation to use ITYS (I Told You So) rejected. “So. Why?”

    “How come every time you’re not sure what to say next you start your next sentence with ‘so’?”

    “Everyone does that. So tell me why?” I pushed the Mac aside and tried not to look at my next move in my chess battle with the machine.

    “Because he’s a fucker!” she said. “Because he’s an asshole! Because he fucked his ex at my flat, while I was at the conference!”

    “Huh?” I was properly surprised. I knew he was repulsive – but that repulsive? “how did you find out?”

    “Uh – why wouldn’t I see a used condom in the bin? Under a scrunched copy of the Times? Which I thought, I told him to recycle his fucking Tory paper. So I took it out to put in the recycling. And there is this horrible pink rubber thing dripping cum underneath…”

    “Yuk.”

    “He said he wanted babies with me! God James, what if I’m pregnant?”

    “We’ll cross that bridge when. So what happened – did you confront him?”

    “He got home almost the same minute – there I am, Times in my hand, staring into the bin, there he is at the door, staring at me staring at the bin. Everything all right darling he asks me. No I say, point to the bin. He looks.”

    “Wow. Great scene.”

    “Then he says, I swear, he says, ‘yes, it’s a condom. Are you coming to the O2 with me tonight or not. It’s Comedy Central night.’”

    “What?! What did you do?”

    “I threw the bin at him!”

    “You didn’t…” feigned disbelief. This was exactly what I could imagine her doing.

    “Yes I did. Covered him in fag ash and tissues and dribbling cum. He was furious!”

    “Well done! And then?”

    “And then he told me I am a screaming hysterical bitch. He always wanks into a condom he said. Saves mess! And he dumped me…grabbed his stuff. Stormed out like it’s all my fault! Oh James, why do I feel so…fucking…miserable?”

    “Do you want me to come over?” hopefully. The White Knight with chocolates and kisses….

    “No I fucking don’t – oh sorry James I don’t want it to sound like that. I just need to be by myself. Think it over. I mean, why does he have to wank when he has me? I don’t believe him! She was here. I know she was.”

    “Oh boy.”

    “Oh boy…” she’s sobbing and it’s horrible. Then “I mean, maybe just maybe it’s true? He’s OCD enough to use a condom for a wank.”

    “How can you believe him?” I ask, exasperated. “I told you he’s a narcissist. He can never admit if he’s done wrong. He will always blame the other person.”

    “I’m going out,” she said. “I need to walk.”

    And that was the last time I spoke to her, three days now. No answers to texts. Nothing on Whatsapp. Her Facebook, Snapchat, nothing’s happened.

    She has disappeared.

    What should I do?

  • Apocalypse Then!

    Image: The Guardian 29/12

    The Four Horsemen are gathering…and one man tries to do something about it!

    Strange thing, this bonfire of the personalities. Whatttt! George Michael and now Carrie Fisher! Followed the next day by her mom Debbie Reynolds…One after the bloody other! The names paraded through Gregor’s mind as he strode up Chiswick High Street. And David Bowie, of course. That one felt like a personal bereavement. Muhammad Ali! A punch to the midriff. Leonard Cohen, growling his way off into the sunset. Prince! Fidel Castro…Gene Wilder…Zsa Zsa Gabor, just the other day Darrrrling…what’s so special about 2016? Or is it so special? Must Google celebrity deaths 2016. And go back in time. Is there a website which compares this year with previous years? Or is it that this year was the year all one’s icons have reached the right age to die? But poor George Michael was only 53.

    But it was Jo Cox’ death that had hurt him the most. Bastards.

    He turned left at Acton Lane and followed the curve of the road to Chiswick Park station. His mobile leapt into his hand. “Hi Siri” he said, “Celebrity deaths 2016”  “Checking” said Siri, then almost immediately “I found this for Celebrity deaths 2016”. Lists, lists.

    Victoria Wood.  Her self-parodying heartfelt comic voice now only digital. All these people. Now digital.

    Oh no, Harper Lee. Killed long after her bird mocked the prejudices and bigotry of the American South.

    The ugly grey stained concrete of the Deco station inserted itself into his life like an unwelcome alien space ship. He pocketed the phone, tapped through the barrier, rushed up the stairs and boarded a waiting District Line train. He sat down, melted into his mobile screen.

    Alan Rickman. A professional baddie.

    John Glenn. Saw the Earth as it should be. Beautiful.

    The tube carriage mounted into the sky.

    Terry Wogan…that’s seriously unfair. Now there is no ironic excuse to watch Eurovision.

    Margaret Forster…gave me my first enthusiastic review back in the eighties.

    “The next station is Earl’s Court” the recorded announcement lied.

    And what about Ronnie Corbett! and Umberto Eco even – too many names. So many and each one what Gregor would call a Good One. Not always good through their lives, true, but each with a strong streak of good running right through. Like a beam of love he would have said, had he been a soppy sort.

    With a sigh he looked up. Everything had gone utterly silent. No rattle, no hum, no roar.

    This is Wrong, he thought. With a capital W.

    He stared through the window at the utter black of vacuum. And gradually he became aware of the passengers seated opposite. A yawning, frowning, huddling gurn of faces in a row like balls set up for a purpose yet to be invented, probably one of those perpetual motion machines – if you tapped one it would tap the next and so on all up the line and then back again. And each time each head would say Hello Mate!

    I must be dead I suppose, he thought. Either that or I’ve gone suddenly deaf. And we’re passing through the blackest of black tunnels.

    He realised that somehow the number of people in the carriage was increasing exponentially. Even the aisle began to fill up with hollow ones, frozen to their phones.

    No, that’s it. I’m dead. I’ll never fulfil my mission now, he thought. Westminster is so far away. He clutched his briefcase tightly to his lap.

    Meanwhile the recorded voice went on lying, station by station, as if there was such a thing as a destination, until, unaccountably, it stopped.

    The doors slid open and there was nothing but light outside. Passengers stared, stunned, confused. “What on earth is happening?” He asked no-one.

    A blowsy woman in green said “I have no idea! This bloody District line just gets worse! I have to get to Debenhams by 4!”

    A youth in a hoodie laughed. “You’ll be lucky!” he said.

    The announcement nevertheless took them quite by surprise. “Ladies and gentlemen and others. You have arrived at your destination. This train terminates here. Kindly abandon this train. I repeat, kindly abandon the train. You must leave all your baggage inside. I repeat, all your baggage.”

    They stood, milled about, then like well-conditioned London commuters, they followed orders.

    “I am the Conductor,” a portly man in a London Underground uniform using a loudhailer, introduced himself to the passengers as they stood in a confused clump along the platform. “I will be leading you to your destination.” A clamour of voices, questions, demands, incomprehension was met by bland reassurance. “I can understand your confusion of course! I will explain. There is nothing to worry about.” He walked to about the middle of the platform and continued.

    “I knew it! The Seventh Day Adventist blurted. “It’s the Day of Judgement! We are the Blessed!”

    “You’re nuts” a hipster giggled. “Religious nut are you?”

    “You may laugh,” the nut said. “I realised yesterday when I was looking at the list of all the great and the good that died this year. It’s the Apocalypse! All of them were Christians who had seen the light! God hath gathered them up unto him.”

    “Uh, no, that’s not true…” the Conductor muttered.

    “Yes it is! The Four Horsemen are gathered. The Trump, the ISIS, the whatsname, Russian President, and Mick Jagger I should think…we predicted it! It’s the End of the World and we have been saved!”

    “Not quite,” the Conductor said. “If only we were that well organised! We have been making rather a lot of cock ups recently. Actually, there are only two thousand three hundred places and we are oversubscribed. And no, we don’t only take Christians. And obviously we have made a mistake with you, young lady. In fact there are far too many of you here.  Some will have to be injured.”

    What! A furious babble of protest erupted. What do you mean injured? This line gets worse!

    “On behalf of the Underground my sincere apologies ladies gentlemen. I will need to divide you into In and Out, Injured and dead. Right! Any volunteers?”

    “I have no intention of being either!” The fat lady spouted. “My daughter is waiting for me in the tea shop at Debenhams and believe me, you wouldn’t want to keep her waiting!”

    “Really madam? And who else has an urgent appointment?”

    “Well me ” Gregor said. “Me.”

    “Really? And what was your appointment if I may ask?”

    “Well,” Gregor said modestly, “apparently I was supposed to save the world.”

    “Really?” The Conductor chortled disbelievingly. Other passengers tittered.

    “Oh yes!” Gregor said. ”You see, I am a Special Advisor to Theresa May, our Prime Minister.”

    “Show off!” The youth said contemptuously.

    “Oh yes,” said the Conductor, “it is perfectly possible. So why was your presence at the meeting so important? Prime Ministers have several Special Advisors. Paid lots of money apparently” He laughed.

    “It was a very special meeting,” Gregor said. ”A very secret meeting.”

    “Ah.” said the Conductor. “Well, we have no secrets here,” he said. “Why don’t you tell us all about it? Well, everybody we’re about to hear a story! So let’s all sit down. Do you want to hear a story?” he asked.

    “Yes yes” the other passengers chorused, and like obedient children, mouths agape, they sat on the dusty platform.

    So Gregor told them all about it. What the hell, now he was dead nothing mattered. He told them how he was supposed to meet with the PM and travel with her to a top secret destination in the countryside where a top secret meeting had been set up. So top secret that only a few people had the slightest idea as to where it would take place and who would attend.

    “But I know who was to attend,” he said.

    “Who, who?” they asked

    “Well, we have had all the great leaders and leaders-to be smuggled into the country in disguise. There’s Vladimir Putin. For example.”

    “Who?” the hoodie boy asked.

    “And Donald Trump of course.”

    “What!” the Conductor gasped.

    “And the deputy leader of ISIS, Abu Muslim al-Turkmani”

    “Not to mention some of the leaders of the right wing in Europe, like Le Pen, Wilders, Hofer, Grillo…”

    “Is this a stupid question,” an elderly gentleman in a striped suit asked, “but – well, why?”

    “Why? Why?” many others clamoured.

    “Yes, the Conductor asked, genuinely bemused. “Why?”

    “Well first I need to explain that this is by no means their first meeting. No. Every couple of years or so the leaders of the world get together in secret to make plans for the next year, work out who will win which wars, organise the distribution of wealth into their bank accounts, and so on.”

    “What!” The old man said.

    “They’ve been meeting secretly since Kruschev first set them up.” he said.

    “I knew that,” the obligatory Rasta smiled. “Obvious!”

    “Third time for Trump of course. Obama refused to join.”

    “Who would have guessed” the Conductor said with a smile.

    “So this time I decided to blow them up.”

    There was silence in that huge place. No breath was breathed.

    Until, eventually: “Blow them up?” the Conductor asked. Aghast.

    “Obviously. I have been an organiser of these meetings for years. But this year the bonfire of the celebrities finally pissed me off. I advised against it! But they never listen to my advice. They just made this decision to delete all people who could possibly suspect what they are up to. All the Good Ones. All the Smart Ones”

    “Tell me something, “the Conductor asked. “What is in your briefcase?”

    “Why,” Gregor answered. “The bomb of course!” He opened the flap and stared inside. It was completely empty.

    “The bomb went off,” the Conductor said sadly. “At Chiswick Park Station. So now we know why.”

    “I guess we do,” Gregor said sadly.

     

    Is there a Great Plan?

    Or is this just cock up

    Of God or Man? 

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