Don’t predict anything! The blokie on the Today programme has just said.HC has a 4% lead in the polls. Well, pre-Brexit polls misled millions into thinking we would stay in Europe. It’s about the Hispanics in some states – they can turn things Hilarious. Whereas the so-called blue collar rust belt voters could Trump the lot. Nomenclatural Determinism, the theory that one’s name declares one’s fate, makes my heart sink in dread. A Trump, in the bourgeois card game of Bridge wins the game. An Ace of Spades trumps everything. Perhaps Hilarity is a good omen. Don’t predict anything!

An Ace of Spades is also the death card. Hm.

A quick summary of the system in case you don’t know: it’s not about the number of individual votes nationally, but the number of Electoral College votes. Individuals in each state vote, and their electoral college delegates then make their vote according to the outcome in the state. Each state has a number of EC delegates allocated according to their populations, so big states like California have more EC than Utah. Therefore each state  “Returns” a number of delegate votes and whoever gets the most wins. Simple. The winner needs 270 out of a total of  538 To win. Simple. Simple????

Up for grabs – the whole election will depend on these “swing” states. Ohio usually goes for the winner. New Hampshire, shaped like a tiny erect penis. Florida is big, but because of the high number of Hispanics, may go to HC. Similar story in Arizona which flip/flops each election. Watch for those results!

Probably blue (Democrat – HC): the biggest is California. New York is big, also Pennsylvania and Illinois. See the map for the relative number of Electoral College votes.

Red (Rep=Trump) the biggest is Texas, West Virginia – also penis shaped – one of the smaller ones. The littlest dicks are  North Dakota and South Dakota.

Results have started coming in already – in the tiniest corner of the tiniest electoral district HC got 17 votes to DT’s 14. Hallaballoo! (Take THAT, spellcheck) – the electoral officer was concerned: he said his district is usually much stronger for the Democrats.

The coverage in the media if you want to watch this, the bitterest contest in history: BBC http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-us-2016-37842981

I will be bopping between BBC Radio 4 (from 10pm) and World Service; BBC TV and CBS. Al Jazeera will be interesting! Russia Today are hysterically (!) pro Trump. The Chinese are anti.  Fox News, being the right testicle of Rupert Murdoch and the Rump Republicans, may get a tormented glance.

Two words. Donald Trump. He has no limits, no filters, no responsibility. He decided to be president and so any lie, any insult, any strategy or tactic was acceptable to him. And as soon as he identified his fans and they identified with him, he picked up on their fears and hopes and just gave them the lies they wanted to hear. Are they the Deplorables, as HC has called them? Nah. Just weak, not too bright, trusting, extremely  brainwashed, ill-educated, unhappy run-of the mill bigots.

Will they win? I promise you, if Trump wins he will not hesitate to dump them if they get in his way. Watch.

Trust me and the idiots like me: this is HISTORY and will shape all our lives, wherever we live.