Outside, the moon in its seventy year cycle of attempting to land on earth once more fails and begins to leave. Most of America sleeps. The battle over, the conqueror is still no doubt awake, basking in his own cleverness and making plans which he will probably change fifteen times as his butterfly mind flickers between  organising revenge against those who opposed his rise, plots for trumpeting his greatness over the entire world, and general empire building.

We’ll call him Big Orange, or BO. Today he announced which of his buddies will form his Cabinet. He chose, of course, Pugh, Pugh, Barney Mc Grew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub. No doubt this too will change as the BO imagines plots against him or any one of these should dare to make a move on a daughter. Or son.

And the rest of the world prepares for a Trumpton invasion. Each country has its Trumpists, its fifth columns who have been praying for this outcome for years. Queenist Britain has already fallen to the Brutes of Brexit, led by A Farrago, with his pet twit Boris, one of BO’s illegitimate secret offspring and a Gove Toad. In sweet little tulip-hugging Holland, BO’s illegitimate secret son Geert Wildman has been  promising to kick all foreigners into canals and suffocate them with kindness until they die. In France, BO’s secret illegitimate daughter Marina le Penis who assassinated her Founder to gain control of the FN (Fairy Nutcase) party, jumped with joy, almost knocking  the moon out of the sky.

These blonds with their cheeky charm and charisma had gathered lots of fellow fervent racists around them and were oh-so cutely determined now to start signing up people who were only slightly racist, easily lied to and generally unhappy. And by using BO’s catchphrase “only I know why you’re unhappy and only I can fix it” suddenly they saw a real possibility of victory.

In Germany, the AFD (Absolutely Fucking Dumb) Party saw reasons to strut. Their slogan of Hurray Hurray kick a Muslim a day from Bonn to Bombay, which had previously caused amusement at their geographical cultural and religious ignorance, now sent a thrill through the soul not just of the racists, but of the nearly racists too. Italy, Poland and the rest of Yurp, as the Americans call the continent to their right, are brimming with the disaffected, the duped, the dumb.

So how come

For me

Sleepless in SD 

I’d run

And hide

Somewhere inside

With a gun?

……………………………………

Actually I wouldn’t. I am, after all, a man of peace and I prefer laughter to war any day. I leave guns and wars to the Trumpists and the Brexiters, to the Wildmen and Penises.

You know what makes me laugh? The Real Enemies, the cause of Globalisation and so many of the factors that make the Trumpists unhappy, are the big corporations. Like MacDonalds, Apple, Exxon Mobil, the big Pharmaceutical companies, all the big brands. Who put Profit before People; Shareholders before Customers or Employees; Profit before Pollution. Their egos before the Earth. And Trump and his rump have successfully diverted the blame onto immigration and, hilariously, “the swamp”, the establishment which is in power entirely at the behest of the corporations. The true villains could never be blamed by name – the people who are the Trumpists are their loving customers. And the irony is Trump is appointing some of the biggest swamp beasts to positions of power in his new administration. Once more, the people are being screwed. The future of mankind on the planet imperilled….

Tee hee.

Irony upon Irony.

You know what, dear? 

I’m outta here!

Leaving soon! Packed! For the moon!

I love you all.

Sorry.

Source: BBC World Service “The Inquiry”. http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04fk268

See their Facebook page, get the podcast from the website of BBCworld service.com; type Trumpton into YouTube to get the full deal on the cabinet.