Who Says I don’t get COMMENTS? 4 responses
There are 91 at present awaiting approval. Wtf! How am I to know which are real and which are bogus nonsense from bots and other web-crawling pondlife? With Viagra or stadium lighting to sell or looking for an opening for a hack, a virus, a trojan? Or even with nice websites I would enjoy even though they don’t read my blogs?
Safest strategy: just delete all. So if you’re a real person who reads my blogs and wants to make a genuine connection with the content, or with me – and I haven’t posted or responded to your heartfelt comment, I apologise. If you engage with the content I’m more likely to engage with you ok?
To the time wasters: send as much nonsense as you like, it goes straight to the Spam folder. Last time I posted a blog about this ghastly phenomenon I was suddenly overwhelmed with a huge increase in the spam volume. Maybe the bots have a sense of humour?
To my dearly beloved readers: Hi. I hope you are well, certainly better than I am at the moment. Yesterday I had a flying lesson over the handlebars of my bike – my scarf had wound itself around the front wheel and I almost did an Isadora Duncan (if you’re too lazy to google her, she was a very famous dancer in the 20’s killed when her scarf wound itself around a wheel of a sports car) – although flipping up in the air outside Sainsbury’s is just not even remotely romantic.
The damage was to nose and forehead, which made stunning acquaintance with the sidewalk and bled all over the place. A wonderful New Zealander called Matt I think (works locally. Good chap) checked me out and sent me home.
So now I have to go into a school and do a Thingy. With a great blob of scab in the middle of the nose and a bruise on the forehead. “Hey Sir, you’ve got a squashed cockroach on your nose!” “Yeh kiddo, want one?” would not be an appropriate response.
Ok I’m off.
Love you all. Even the spammers.
Hi! I am a Robot and I am trying to sell you my new record. Find it on: https://bit.ly/2t4gY9d
If you don’t buy it I will flood your folder with sperm, sorry spam.
Having checked this record I can confirm that this, at least, is a genuine response or Spam and sperm sandwich.
Mine wuz real. Of course I read your blogs! If you don’t post this I will scream. I ask again what do I have to do to be a writer?
Sorry Giorgio it’s so hard to tell.
You can’t want to be a writer. You are either a writer or you aren’t. Here’s the test: Do you watch, do you listen, do you learn? Are you interested in the word ‘why’? Are you always looking for ways to express your feelings? Do you love words, and do you always look for a better way of expressing yourself? Are you delighted/appalled/thrilled by your fellow humans? If they bore you, forget it. Can you look at a scene in nature and magically turn every aspect of it into words? Can you tell a good original story that others want to listen to? Do you know at least some of the rules of grammar – and are you prepared to break them judiciously? Are you capable of surprising yourself and others? Are you steeped in empathy? Can you see through another’s eyes? Are you sufficiently obsessed by style, so that you know when to use a cliché? No, not never. Some people speak in cliches and in reporting their speech it would be silly to leave them out. Are you self-critical? Are you always striving to improve your style?
If you can answer yes to at least half of the above you may be a writer, our at the very least someone I would marry.
As to how to proceed: Write!