Another story in the Nasty Little Things Collection. I remember my first victim so well. They say you always remember your first time and since I’ve never had proper sex, my first murder took my virginity. He was my…
God watches every sparrow fall And every bomb fly by Then why does slow sweet cancer call Those innocent of nearly all To torment until they die? All religions lie my friend, all religions lie Was it God who…
This train-wreck civilisation broken, Its scraps disseminated and the dogs Seek their master’s throats Singing I lurk under a thorn tree which makes a cave around my bruised head. The cries of pursuer and pursued punctuate the horizon like…
I sat in stunned silence as the salesman ranted. “Donkeys!” He sputtered. “Can you believe those donkeys!” He savagely hit the disconnect button on his mobile. “Watch!” He said “They’re on their way! Watch how I deal with them!” “What’d…
To what extent do I manufacture my world? Are you a figment of me? How and why can I be reading the paper and listening to the radio and the second my eye lights on a word, say “manipulative” someone…
Hey stranger! Been much too busy to keep up this dairy, got a greatry to make cunt! Had so much to do. Got all the horribles to deal with. Eyeran Musselmen and all that. I will ALWAYS be on their…
Note: this scurrilous piece of nonsense purporting to have been written by our greatest living President has been compromised by the CIA and will now be protected by end-to end encryption so that no-one but our Russian allies will have access….
Friday Dear dearie I am so exciddded! I just met my first head of state! One of the greatest too! Even though she’s only a woman they made her in charge of Great Brexit where my mom is from. It…
Sunday Dear Deary Sooooo proud! Today I finally moved in to the big fucking ugly Pennsylvania Avenue house, which I used to call “The Black House” and which, from now on and forever, is going to be called Toad Hall….
“From now on,” Mr Toad said expansively, “this great ugly pile will be called Toad Hall. After me. Like all my huge massive best wonderful incredible fantastic best in the world businesses!” With a gesture he stopped the motorcade at…